I ate lunch alone at my desk before driving to the clinic for our appointment. In the two weeks since my husband and I found out at our 20-week sonogram that our fetus was abnormal, I'd barely left the house. My entire world collapsed.
Marriage is not just about tax benefits, social security, or health care rights. It's not just flowers and heart-shaped balloons. Marriage is also about having a legal means to end the relationship.
There may very well be 31 years worth of flavors in ice cream land -- Jamaican Me Crazy, anyone? -- but, to ward off diabetes, lactose intolerance, and clichéd husband jokes, here's just a taste.
We've been told through movies, music and literature that we're incomplete if we're alone. Only the presence of "another" can alleviate the void we feel inside and make us feel whole. In actuality, we feel the void when we're not aligned with ourselves.
No matter how much you read or prep or think you know how having children will change your life, your perspective and perhaps most importantly, your marriage, there is really no way to predict it. No way to anticipate how you and your partner may differ on parenting goals, values, methods until you are facing them head on.
Men are strange creatures. Rumor has it that women are far more complex and difficult to understand, but I beg to differ. Men have this strange way of lacking any complication, thus are maddeningly confusing. How can they be so simple? I don't understand.
When I married my second husband--the love of my life--I did not want to change my name, so I kept Strauss. (Deep down I know he would love it if I changed my last name to his, though.)
Lying, sometimes even to oneself, being selfish, fearing being alone and stringing somebody along just to feel good about oneself is not acceptable. It is immature.
The shelf life of most intense feelings is quite short. A strong feeling, which is not fed by our thoughts about it, can pass through us in a rather short time. It is our mind that, counter-intuitively, does not want us to let go of our pain.
My suggestion is that the next time your partner tells you that you need to have your hearing checked, bring him/her along to your appointment. Have him be the one with the headsets in the sound booth. Tell the audiologist to take a lunch break and you call the words.
If your relationship were a fire, is it still burning strongly? Flickering? Smoldering? Does it need kindling or a log? Has the last spark of it burne...
We all value marriage. I've been married for 34 years. But blaming a poor single mom for her poverty and only offering up a husband as salvation is demeaning, paternalistic and denies current ground truths.
There are as many reasons why marriages fail as there are words in a language, expressions on a face, tones in a voice, and nerves beneath the human skin.
The argument to "wait until marriage" puts sex so high on a pedestal that love and exploration -- what sex is truly about -- are lost to fear and uncertainty. It makes any kind of sex before marriage experience (good, or bad, or ugly) look like a failure when, in reality, those experiences can teach us a lot about ourselves, our wants and our desires.
It makes sense that people in their 20s and 30s might hedge their bets and see relationships as risky if they watched their parents' marriage fail, or even relatives and friends parents' marriage collapse.
As the news that Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are reportedly expecting a baby began to spread, so did the chatter about the order in which they are approaching making a family.