Go ahead and tell your kids they're special as much as you like. Celebrate their accomplishments and let them see the proud gleam in your eyes, but make sure they know you adore them for who they are, regardless of whether or not they win or succeed.
Religion aside, I firmly believe that those who argue that homosexuality is a choice do so in order to justify senseless beatings of gays and lesbians, and continued discrimination and mistreatment against them. I also believe without a doubt that it is a choice to be a nasty human being.
One of the concepts that really makes a mess of things is the idea that narcissists love themselves to the exclusion of all others. The term that summarizes that is "self-love." The problem is that narcissism is NOT self love.