5. I will not work out. I won't do pilates, yoga, aerobics or any type of exercise where someone is telling me what to do, how I can do it and how many times. After work and an afternoon with two tots, I will not conclude my day by stressing out about not being able to do 50 push ups.
Now let's get into your head. If you are evaluating your entire self based on a few body parts, you are doing a huge disservice to the spectrum of services your body provides. Do you even KNOW what your pancreas has done for you lately?
Today we can ask ourselves the ultimate question: To what will we devote our life in this very short span of time that we have in this world? What will captivate us, be the focus of our life's energy, be what we care most about in the world. In short -- what will we worship?
I resent my body and its annoying needs, its troublesome memories and emotions, its alarming register of the passing years. But I have learned time and time again that it is my only way back to feeling grounded and present in the world.
Whatever you end up doing on New Year's, there is often this sinking feeling that really you should be doing something else. That your true life -- the one that involves sipping great champagne, wearing an excellent dress and cracking wise with a bevy of smart, sexy singles -- is out there.
I've practiced parenthood for 29 years now, and if practice makes perfect, maybe in 2013 I can finally get it right. So here, in the interest of achieving the massive self-improvement needed, are my top five resolutions.