If you are not in the habit of practicing self-compassion this concept will seem foreign and even difficult to embrace, but loosening your grip on fear is a step toward letting go of the guilt. It will often lessen the intensity of the pain. Giving yourself grace is something that will being to open the door to healing.
I am willing to bet that most of us that watched The Karate Kid at some point in our lives, also eventually found ourselves wishing we had our very own Mr. Miyagi to guide us through it. While I have never been successful in finding a karate master to follow me around and give me sage advice, I do have a standard list of folks that I turn to when I am in need of some wisdom.