If you are not in the habit of practicing self-compassion this concept will seem foreign and even difficult to embrace, but loosening your grip on fear is a step toward letting go of the guilt. It will often lessen the intensity of the pain. Giving yourself grace is something that will being to open the door to healing.
I am willing to bet that most of us that watched The Karate Kid at some point in our lives, also eventually found ourselves wishing we had our very own Mr. Miyagi to guide us through it. While I have never been successful in finding a karate master to follow me around and give me sage advice, I do have a standard list of folks that I turn to when I am in need of some wisdom.
Friends ask me, what's the right way to meditate? I have no idea. I just breathe in and out and notice the breath and the thoughts as they pass through my mind. When I take some time every day to meditate, something positive always comes from it... a feeling of well-being, a thought, a feeling of peace. And it helps you to learn to sit with all kinds of feelings.
It actually gets better as you get older. You get better. Life gets better. The merry-go-round slows down and you can finally enjoy the ride. I'm not going to tell you it's easy; especially in this economy or that it happens automatically like your invitation to join AARP. But it is possible as long as you're willing to do the work.