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People Pleasing

Why It's OK to Be the Bad Guy

Kara Post-Kennedy | Posted 05.18.2015 | Parents
Kara Post-Kennedy

We teach our kids to share, especially with children who may have less than they do. We teach our kids to cooperate and compromise, especially if they have a tendency to bully for their own way.

I'm the Weirdest Codependent in the World

Anna David | Posted 05.23.2015 | Healthy Living
Anna David

Over the past few weeks, I've listened to a trainer pontificate on adoption, a tarot card reader lecture about treating bacterial infections and a gyn...

'I'm Sorry' Is My Armor

Jennifer Malise | Posted 05.17.2015 | Women
Jennifer Malise

I'm always going to be scared; of failure, of disappointment, of not being good enough. But I'm done pretending that I won't feel pain if I'm careful enough, or that I can prevent the pain of others by just wishing hard enough. Saying I'm sorry is a verbal tightrope act, and it's one that I'm done performing.

How I Stopped Being a People Pleaser

Debbie Hampton | Posted 04.21.2015 | Women
Debbie Hampton

I unknowingly gave from a place of insecurity and low self-esteem in an attempt to bolster my feelings about myself.

Je Suis Brian Williams

David Bedrick | Posted 04.12.2015 | Media
David Bedrick

Perhaps its time for a psychological intervention, a coming out of the shadows for all of us. Perhaps we could all hold up placards that read "Je suis Brian Williams--I am Brian Williams." Now that would turn our world upside down; that would be a revolution I could sign up for.

The Art of Receiving

Mary Pritchard | Posted 03.07.2015 | Women
Mary Pritchard

I think, as women, that receiving is sometimes foreign territory for us. We give, give, and give some more. But taking? Receiving? Isn't that selfish? No. It's survival. Hear me out.

Why I Am NOT Sorry

Alba Brunetti | Posted 03.02.2015 | Healthy Living
Alba Brunetti

Saying "I'm sorry" repeatedly put me in a position of constantly being in the wrong. This had a profound impact on me as I was doing nothing that warranted an apology.

How to Tap Into Inner Clarity for Your 2015 Vision

Kerry Vollherbst | Posted 02.18.2015 | Healthy Living
Kerry Vollherbst

Once you see where you're shape-shifting to satisfy your ideas about other peoples' desires, you get the awareness that your reality is made up of choices that you are making, not someone else. The beautiful, liberating news is that you are free to choose again.

I'm Done Giving Myself Brownie Points... I'll Just Eat the Brownie

Lindsay Henry | Posted 01.10.2015 | Women
Lindsay Henry

I'm done counting points. I will eat the entire brownie. I will say no when I want to say no and try not to feel guilty about it.

The Two Hardest Lessons I Learned From Oprah This Weekend

Ling Abson | Posted 12.20.2014 | Healthy Living
Ling Abson

I have dreams. I want to fulfill my calling to help others. I want to make a difference in the lives of others. How could I figure all these out when after devoting myself to my family what is left is just tiredness, resentment and anger?

Are You Suffering From Secondhand Stress?

Jonathan Alpert | Posted 09.27.2014 | Healthy Living
Jonathan Alpert

When you're around your positive friend you connect and relate to him or her. When you're around the miserable boss, you're tense because you're picking up on his tension, maybe even trying to understand him, and it doesn't make you feel good.

5 Ways to Let Go of Perfectionism and Still Excel at Anything

Vee Somphon | Posted 08.24.2014 | Healthy Living
Vee Somphon

You don't have to play team sports to know that winning is the biggest high, and if you love chasing after it, some experts might call that an addiction. That addiction has a name, and its name is perfectionism.

3 Personality Traits That Stress You Out!

John Tsilimparis | Posted 04.14.2014 | Healthy Living
John Tsilimparis

Why do we worry so much? Despite it being time consuming and exhausting, it's still another issue of control that we struggle to let go of. We essentially worry because we have convinced ourselves that if we worry enough about something, bad things won't happen to us and we will be safer in the world. But, in truth, it has the potential to make us feel more distressed.

Free Yourself by Being Direct

Joyce Marter | Posted 03.01.2014 | Healthy Living
Joyce Marter

I'm a recovering people pleaser. Like many people (especially women), I was raised to be "nice" and put others' needs before my own. In my 20s, I too...

From Fearful People-Pleasing to Loving Presence

New Harbinger | Posted 02.15.2014 | Healthy Living
New Harbinger

To me, loving presence means being connected to our inner nature of love and allowing it to radiate out to others. Knowing and experiencing our loving presence is one important outcome of mindfulness practice that can help us gain freedom from fearful people pleasing.

Those Who Mind: The Case Against Trying to Win People Over

Kathryn Lamble | Posted 01.23.2014 | Healthy Living
Kathryn Lamble

It's hard work changing yourself to suit every situation. It's hard work over thinking everything you say to make sure it's just right, and it's hard work having your only validation come from the reactions and approval of others.

Brave

Natalie Thomas | Posted 01.23.2014 | Parents
Natalie Thomas

I'm the one that jumps first and freaks later. But speaking my mind? Finally fessing up to all that was wrong in my life, being a voice for those who hadn't, wouldn't or couldn't? Now that was terrifying.

Halloween is over, but are we still wearing our masks?

Aly Walansky | Posted 01.23.2014 | Women
Aly Walansky

I don't want to stop pleasing people -- I don't want to stop being a good person and showing all the love I have to give. But I am learning to be responsible for my own happiness first, and everyone else, second.

The Price We Pay When We Want to Be Liked by Everyone

An Bourmanne | Posted 12.22.2013 | Healthy Living
An Bourmanne

Living their dream and abandoning yours is exhausting, unfulfilling and such a pity. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. There's no need to hide what makes you YOU. We need your one-of-a-kind brilliance.

What's At The Core Of My Strong Compulsion To Be Liked?

Robin Hoffman | Posted 12.22.2013 | Fifty
Robin Hoffman

I remember my mom saying that I treated my friends better than my family. Immediately, I knew it was true. My family was stuck with me, warts and all, or so I thought back then.

10 Beliefs That Undercut Your Happiness

Paula Davis-Laack | Posted 09.17.2013 | Healthy Living
Paula Davis-Laack

These deeply-held beliefs and faulty assumptions prevent us from putting ourselves out there and taking risks, strategies that happy people rely on to succeed. They also prevent us from having those tough conversations, whether with ourselves or with important people in our lives.

Confessions of a Former People-Pleaser

Shira Hirschman Weiss | Posted 07.05.2013 | Healthy Living
Shira Hirschman Weiss

I couldn't move on from the loose ends I created, and continually frayed the bottom of my pants -- in my mind. No actual pants were harmed for this bl...

If Everybody Likes You, You Are Doing It Wrong

Ben Michaelis, Ph.D. | Posted 06.22.2013 | Healthy Living
Ben Michaelis, Ph.D.

If about 85 percent of the people you meet like you, you are probably doing something right. In contrast, if much more than 85 percent of the people you meet like you, you are probably doing too much to get along.

5 Reasons To Always Follow Through

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. | Posted 03.23.2013 | Healthy Living
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Before I get into the importance of keeping your word, let's explore some of the reasons for not doing this. If you are a person who doesn't do what you say you will do, what is behind this behavior?

How To Master The Art Of Saying 'No'

Kathryn Lamble | Posted 01.08.2013 | Healthy Living
Kathryn Lamble

No! It's a pretty scary word, right? It certainly is for me. It's like a well-placed "boo!" bursting through the darkness from an unseen corner. In fact, I find "no" so scary that that I often have difficulty saying it, and that's just where my problem begins.