I have gone this long without health care, and I don't want any crazy, newfangled plan, affordable or otherwise, to interfere with my determination to remain in the deprived circumstances to which I have grown accustomed.
Forget House of Cards. Ignore Scandal. Bleep Veep. If you really want to know how Washington works, watch Breaking Bad.
History, it is said, is written by the victors. In North Carolina, apparently, that history will be written by Sharia-fearin', teacher-salary slashin' white people totin' guns into their favorite playgrounds and bars.
Limbaugh says that his book, titled Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims: Time-Travel Adventures with Exceptional Americans, will tell "just the truthful history of the Pilgrims" and "the true story of Thanksgiving."
Recently, I was having a discussion with my soon-to-be wife. We were discussing the way that everyone in the U.S. today seems to qualify his or her "A...
On the off chance you were one of the few Americans paying attention to the news in these waning days of summer, you may be forgiven for concluding that, in America, this was the week of the chicken. Seriously, chicken was everywhere.
We gotta admit: even with all we know about how they like to do things in Red States, the boldness of this measure leaves us pretty stunned. Too many homeless in your burgeoning downtown? Just send 'em packing!
Even better, everyone can pretend that they're working that family-values magic while doing nothing at all to help parents raise a baby even minutes after they can call themselves parents. Isn't that what "compassionate conservatism" is all about?
For those of you complaining there's nothing but reruns on TV this summer, go ahead and crack open an ice-cold beer, grab that popcorn and tune in to a new episode from the much-anticipated Anthony Weiner Saga, for a big dose of political reality TV.
Thanks to Bluetooth technology, it is now possible to be frisked while conducting a hands-free conference call with your arms pressed up against a wall. If you're not skilled at multi-tasking, simply send a group text that reads, "Can't talk, getting frisked."
Once upon a time, there was a little red hen who lived on a farm past the woods. She was friends with a bossy but politically connected pig, a groveling sheep who worked as a flunky for the village and a scared little mouse who specialized in running away and hiding.
Poor little Ivan had drawn the short toothpick in the kitchen and had to tell the President of the Russian Federation that Barack cancelled lunch with him.
Conservatives are once again working themselves into tizzies! Actually, they never stopped. But they did manage to mix in some new with the old.
There are no right or wrong answers to this quiz, no grades or scoring. No polygraph test will be administered at this time.