Jenelle explains that she still chooses jail over probation, so her lawyer pulls out his phone to consult his calendar. "It'll be a total of 16 days in jail," he clarifies, since he's not sure if Jenelle can count to double digits.
Jenner is facing 45 days in jail. The probation officer would like to give her a second chance, but she's not ready for it, since that would mean nine more months without weed. Just to be clear: She's picking jail over giving up marijuana.
What's my number one piece of sanity-saving advice to pregnant women? Get a job in California or New Jersey. Not for Disneyland and Snooki, mind you, but because these two forward-thinking states are the only places in America where all working mothers are offered paid maternity leave.
Fran Drescher courted controversy last week during a radio interview in which she said that breastfeeding "poisons" infants and recommended that nursing mothers get their breast milk tested for toxins.
So, if in my late thirties I'm officially a geriatric pregnant woman -- or my other favorite medical label, "of advanced maternal age" -- what does this mean? That I'll soon be buying myself Ensure as I'm picking up PediaSure for my kid?
Husband: "Did you read this NY Times article about this very grown-up, non-baby-related topic?" Me: "No, I haven't seen it. I was busy reading this work of fiction, containing no references whatsoever to childbirth."
Waiting on line for the bus, I tried to be friendly to a pregnant lady standing behind me. "When is the baby due?" I asked. She frowned and said, "What baby?" Turned out she wasn't pregnant, just overweight.
Perhaps we all need to take a step back and remind ourselves that we all arrived on this earth through a mother -- and the basic humanity deserved by any visibly pregnant woman needs greater attention.