There are many kinds of well-being; to be full, you need to look at everything, including overall happiness, relationships and community, self confidence, career, spiritual health and finances.
At some point our family fell out of the usual Thanksgiving routine. We got tired of turkey. Stuffing. That danged green bean casserole and the "mystery Jello mold" desserts. In fact, the whole business of cooking the typical Thanksgiving meal got old.
The key to being with fear is in contacting what is here now, rather than trying to push it away. Here's a story from the river that helps us understand that. In kayaking, you learn about what is called a keeper hole.
In the spirit of Thanksgiving and the holiday season, witnessing everyone gathering with their families, friends and even strangers, I want to explain how cancer has made me thankful... for life.
Unless there is physical danger, staying in the relationship while you explore and heal your end of the relationship system will serve you well. Once you have healed your end of your relationship system, it will become very clear to you whether or not your relationship has a chance of becoming loving and caring, or whether it is time to move on.
I don't own a garage door opener, so I park in my driveway to save a few steps after a long day at work. Living in an older neighborhood in San Jose, Calif., this is typical of most of my neighbors too.
You are at a work function -- as an employee. You are not at this event for the food and/or the drink. Try not to overeat, and definitely do not get drunk. Nobody fondly recalls the next day the person who jumped up on the bar and began dancing.
Fighting, or arguing can even be healthy for a relationship if it's done respectfully and you both come out of it with a better understanding of the other person when the conflict is resolved.
It's great to be supported while we're blowing off steam. Drama is about the details, venting is about an actual issue. Once you've vented, you can now focus on making a decision or taking action. You move past the disappointment and start feeling better.
Recognize you deserve to be loved fully and completely just as you are. Become aware of the ways you don't love yourself, and all the obstacles you place to your own happiness. Why do you think you don't deserve love now? It's time to make love to yourself.
There is no magic formula that says what percentage you have to give and take to make a relationship work. If anyone tells you otherwise, don't believe it. Relationships succeed when two people love each other just enough to put each other first.
Happiness is like a gorgeous rose. You cannot just create that rose ex nihilo, out of thin air. You need to plant the seeds, water the soil, nurture the leaves, and make sure the plants get proper sunlight in order to create the environment for them to possibly produce the end result.
Thanksgiving is one of those loaded-for-bear holidays. We overeat, we over-drink, we overwatch football, and speaking anecdotally, we overbook appointments with our therapists for the Monday after. Families, they just do that to you sometimes, you know?
We're the generation that changed the politico-socio-sexual attitudes of the entire free world in the sixties, so smoothing out our dating behavior would seem easy in comparison. Finger pointing won't help because we're all flawed. Dating isn't supposed to be a contact sport, and being able to see the unique person beyond their imperfections only requires a mirror.
Watching people come and go and some reaching the point where they can no longer travel or cook or participate in the family rituals will make you realize how important family is. You never know what will happen between this holiday and the next, so savor every moment.
As a relationship coach, over the years I've found some effective ways to stay more connected and enjoy time with family and friends during the holiday season. Here I'd like to share my top five with you: