Grow beard. Added points for handlebar mustache. Double points for man bun. Triple points for man bun messier than your wife's.
Feel free to leave your stuff wherever you want this summer. Half-finished smoothies in the family room? No problem. I got it. Socks in the hall. I'm on it. Dishes in the sink? Keep 'em coming.
Having recently completed Chicago's chapter of the annual World Naked Bike Ride, I heartily concur with the "cycling helps your brain" theory.
The bottom line is to hold off on the Spanx-tossing for the time being. You'll also have to continue to keep your current life partner, and spend a fortune for glasses with progressive lenses, have hip/knee replacements, and keep having to buy larger and larger weekly pill boxes.
When Jeb Bush throws his hat into the presidential ring today, he'll use the same pointy, pinwheel hat his brother George used when he announced his candidacy for the presidency in 1999.
Now I have a lobster pillow and a faux-coral sculpture I don't even understand. The only reason I didn't buy a lamp is there was no room in my cart after the f*cking pillows.
LBL has considered putting a car up on blocks in front of her abode or having a fake notice on the door from the Board of Health announcing the presence of both cholera and Sarah Palin inside her home.
Mark Cranslin, CEO and co-founder of several failed startups, announced to his friends today that his latest venture had also gone belly-up, but that he continues to be optimistic for the future.
Humor in the church is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, what pastor doesn't like to start their sermon off with an attention-grabbing joke to wake people up in the pews?
The most popular time of year for weddings is upon us. And when you stop and think about it, "Will You Marry Me?" is a terribly limiting phrase that doesn't begin to describe what a lifetime commitment to another person truly entails.
In a dramatic week for world football, Sepp Blatter, the President of FIFA, gave himself a red card and announced his resignation, and Chris Christie declared his goal of replacing him. At a hastily arranged news conference in a Dunkin Donuts, Governor Christie weighed in.
Dad's been gone over a year now. It was time to sit down with Mom and have that uncomfortable but necessary conversation about moving on. I started with simple suggestions.
My wife edged closer to me as we stared down at the Hunter. He had just emerged from the crawl space underneath the garden hut. "You've been hearing the sounds for how long?" he asked, pulling himself into a sitting position.
Maybe you missed it. Fox News host Neil Cavuto broke the news of Jenner's Vanity Fair photos in a "Business Alert" segment on Monday afternoon. LOL! That business show just cracks me up, let me tell you! I always look for the best comedy (as well as the most sensitive updates about the LGBT community) on Fox's business report, don't you?
O Margarita, patron saint of the next two weeks, Hallowed be thy recipe that I will follow to the letter every day around 3 o'clock.