By going through what I refer to as the "backlog" of stuff that has been ignored, compartmentalized and avoided at all costs (Can't have anyone over? Lock up certain areas of your home for fear that someone will see your mess? Blood run cold when the doorbell rings? Then you know what I'm talking about here.) we are bound to run into some internal resistance.
If you are experiencing domestic violence, know that it is not your fault. You might not understand why he's treating you like this, and that's ok. There are some things in life we will never understand. But you don't have to keep making excuses for your partner, and you don't have to continue living this way.