Our "sense of self" is as unique to us as our fingerprints. It represents an accumulation of beliefs -- conscious and unconscious -- about how we perceive our relative worthiness, lovability, and personal power. Based on trial and error, we unwittingly and automatically estimate our rank in the pecking order and how attachment-worthy we think we are.
I think in our culture, events tend to seem separate from other events in our lives. The only similarity is that they are connected through the person experiencing them. We place a great emphasis on what we do, not what happens to us. Things have to happen the right way and because of our own doing.