The truth is you can endure any feeling. You can make decisions about who elevates your spirits and energy levels and who depletes you. You can hand select and piece together the community that will love and support you. You can create your best possible life and although it will not ever be perfect -- it can be wonderful and even surpass your greatest expectations.
When we seek approval from outside our selves, it is a never-ending search. Not only are we at the mercy of other people's ever-changing opinions but circumstances are always changing as well. We might make one friend happy but another is disappointed in us. Or we might please our partner one day but not the next.
I wish you all a beautiful magical love that you deserve. It is out there for all of us. But we have to fall in love with ourselves first. We have to let go of old unhealthy behaviors, beliefs and patterns about others, and ourselves. We have to open up completely and know ourselves well before we can give ourselves to another,
I know that if my "before" and "after" photos were placed on social media without the back story, the judgement would be something like "she really let herself go." Gaining weight in our culture, especially for women is synonymous with being lazy, unmotivated, unsuccessful, and unlovable. Yet in my case, nothing could be farther from the truth.