First thing you have to do is find an out of shape instructor. Even a little bit fat is fine. This isn't easy as paddleboarding burns a lot of calories, but it can be done, and it really takes the edge off having to learn something while wearing a bathing suit.
When my son was young, he thought the idiom was "You CAN teach an old dog new tricks!" How optimistic, sweet and naive... especially as his "old dog" mom was heading towards 50. Turns out he may have been right.