We share the same fears and hopes. We love with the same fierceness. Our mothering is deeply personal, but motherhood is reassuringly and earnestly universal.
I thought my degrees and past work experience would speak for themselves. I thought I'd seamlessly transition back into the workforce. But, I am highly educated in looking at perspectives, analyzing situations and problem-solving. I guess I'll do just that.
You are not a bad person for lamenting the loss of you, for yearning for the person you were before you were a parent -- before you were "so-and-so's Mom."
With time, I've learned that real love is made of the everyday stuff that cements a relationship over the years, the experiences that build a family, and the security and stability that make a home.
Staying home with kids can feel like you have a boss following you around all day, even to the restroom. Kids are always watching. "Mommy, are you eating candy? Can I have some candy?" Kids love to critique. "Mommy, the oven is dirty!"
Over the years, I've come to learn a very important truth. No matter what label I'm wearing at any given moment, if you ask me what kind of mom I am, there's only one answer that matters.
Caring for us came at a cost to mom's career. Workplace attitudes and practices continue to penalize mothers and keep the gender pay gap wide, even as it is narrowing for young women pre-motherhood.
But I don't talk about those things because I worry. I worry that if my day doesn't seem hard enough or chaotic enough, I'm not doing it right. I worry that my husband (and maybe the rest of the working world too) thinks I'm getting a free ride on the gravy train.
We're no longer on an even playing field. We haven't been for some time now. The ground seems slanted, the court warped,the turf tainted. Whatever sports analogy you conjure, things are far from even. And the "call" is in the eye of the beaten-down beholder.
For any parent who wishes to stay at home or simply reduce their working hours to spend more time with their children -- whether male or female, and irrespective of socioeconomic status -- a UBI could offer the financial independence that liberal feminism has been seeking for decades
Before kids: You think about spring break for weeks before, dreaming of an idyllic week with a wide-open schedule. Nothing is better than just being home. After kids: You panic when you realize spring break is only four days and have nightmares about being alone with toddlers.
What I hope for you most of all is that by the time you are a mom, we have all moved to a place where moms and dads both have the support they need to make the decision that is best for their families.
It was one of those moments where I just wanted to crawl into bed and emerge 18 years later. Was I really going to survive these early years? Was I strong enough to withstand the madness?
Why do I constantly feel what I've done isn't enough? After 15-hour days, I somehow feel guilty sitting down to rest. Whenever people approach me to offer help, I often wonder if they're thinking, How can she be tired? She's not working.
Having a working mother is a gift. Without her, I wouldn't even know what is possible. I wouldn't work so hard to pursue my dreams. And of course I want to provide the same inspiration and be a role model to my children as well.
Thank you, Mom, for working and showing me that with enough effort, you can accomplish anything.