The emotional healing that begins with the nonverbal nonjudgmental acceptance of a horse enables veterans to feel safe enough to be themselves. This breakthrough Connection helps bridge the barrier of shame and isolation created by Post Traumatic Stress and enables the veteran to go on and continue to recover often utilizing emotional expressive therapy with another human.
On the porch of my childhood home, a plaque hung on the exposed beams, just about where your eyes would naturally rest when you were gazing up in thought. The plaque contained a quote, attributed to Abraham Lincoln: 'Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.'
What I really learned is that the absolute most effective way to turn on my partner is to be confident and enthusiastic. Seriously, this woman was so INTO what she was doing and so INTO her partner that it would still would have been hot if she was slathering his cock with peanut butter while reading him the federal tax code.
I am so sorry to hear how much you're struggling in your marriage. Although this isn't what you're asking about right now, it is not normative to have a blow up fight every few months that leaves you feeling this upset and lonely. I encourage you to try couples counseling with your husband to work on this marriage.