If you want the love of your life to appear, just tell the universe you're not ready. "Don't send me love!" you should scream -- if you want it. It's the opposite of that book The Secret. "Please, God, don't send me a keeper!" That's when Cupid goes through his Rolodex.
Why do we stay in relationships that are unhealthy and sometimes harmful? I often hear, "We tried four times to make it work," or, "The relationship was over two years ago, but I just couldn't leave." Otherwise very healthy people regularly stay in relationships for the wrong reasons.
This may come as a surprise, but toxins aren't just found in air pollution or your poor food and drink choices. To really feel that desired sense of relief, clarity and glow, you have to look at all parts of your life.
As a therapist, I've seen firsthand that changing relational patterns often transforms even the most inflexible "trait" into something softer, gentler -- not a fixed feature, but a protection that eventually yields to touch and intimacy in all the ways one would hope.
The most glaring problems are easy to spot -- but if you get too hung up on the obvious traits, you can easily miss the subtle (and often more common) features that allow a narcissist to sneak into your life and wreak havoc.
It seems like there is a lot of "hateration" in the air these days. All of us seem to be consumed by those pesky folks known as our "haters." This is an important topic to address because "hate" in any form is toxic to our mind, body, and souls.
Lately, I have found some new clarity and freedom in realizing that there is a difference between accepting the other person for who and what they are, and honestly concluding that I don't care what they do or say.
When we can be honest about a friendship, and about the season of life that the friendship belongs in, then, we can be truly grateful for the miracle that a friendship is. Trying to force a friendship to keep bearing fruit past its season is a disservice to its profound nature.
Ironically, our relationship future can be closely tied to our relationship past. That's because we learn what intimacy is from our early relationships and are drawn, consciously or unconsciously, to what we know.
This occurred to me very recently: I have the power to make my life easy or difficult. It seems like such a simple thing. If something can be distilled down into just a few words, it has to be easy, yes?
The cycle of overeating and obesity can be broken. Those trapped in it know what it feels like, but putting our heads in the ground and wishing it would go away will not work -- anybody who has lost weight only to gain it all back and then some knows what I mean.
My client found it unbelievable. "Here I am 37 years old, a wife, a mom, a nurse valued by patients and staff, and I am hurt -- no, correct that, devastated -- by a supposed friend and her group of friends."