Each time you hear yourself saying or thinking what "should" be happening, flip it around and ask the question, what is happening? Drop your fight with reality, your narrative about what "should" be, and you'll discover that reality, unburdened by your opposition, is a lot different than you think. The surest way to find peace is not to win the war, but to stop the fighting.
Over time I started to see the effects of chasing after something so irregularly unattainable and unsustainable. My moods were erratic with lots of highs and lows, I felt discouraged and adrift a lot of the time, and I was often filled with envy when it seemed like everyone else in the world had figured out the happiness secret except me.
If we are unable to say No from a position of health, then we will also be unable to say Yes from a position of health. There is a relativity of health within this balance. We need both. When we are able to embrace this dynamic fully, we can begin to navigate our lives from a position of deep internal knowing and deep internal truth.