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Young Widow

My David Bowie Soundtrack: From Rebel, Rebel to Space Oddity

Debbie Weiss | Posted 01.14.2016 | Fifty
Debbie Weiss

In 1981, I went to my first fraternity party at UC Berkeley and danced to "Rebel Rebel" by David Bowie. I even had on a red jumpsuit a little like the one he wore in the video. I was a freshman at Mills College in Oakland.

It's Been 3 Years Since My Spouse's Death And I'm Still In Pain

Debbie Weiss | Posted 12.08.2015 | Fifty
Debbie Weiss

In the two and a half years since my husband died, I thought I'd feel better about my life without him. But I don't. Especially during the holiday season when I feel my loss even more piercingly than usual. And having to say that everything's going great just makes it worse.

I Yelled At My Dying Husband, And I'm Still Mired In Shame

Debbie Weiss | Posted 11.12.2015 | Fifty
Debbie Weiss

Two and a half years after my husband George died of cancer, I am still mired in shame and regret because I was such a poor caregiver to him. Images of me angry, yelling at him, continue to haunt me.

Dating Lessons From a Cut-Rate Flounder

Debbie Weiss | Posted 10.07.2015 | Divorce
Debbie Weiss

I was with my late husband for 32 years. After he died, I planned to melt into my sofa in a haze of dark chocolate gelato and Nicholas Sparks movies. I'd be the woman in the bourbon-stained bathrobe buying the giant, economy Bombay Sapphire gin and twelve Butterfingers at Bevmo. But I "got out there." Too much.

If It Isn't Meant to 'Cure' Grief, What Good Is Therapy?

Megan Devine | Posted 06.03.2014 | Healthy Living
Megan Devine

A good therapist is a wonderful thing: They know that there is nothing about you that's wrong. They know their role is to listen and validate, to come up alongside you and provide support.

Picking Up the Pieces of Tragedy

Sandra Walker | Posted 03.23.2014 | Women
Sandra Walker

Everyone has a picture of their life as they see it. Certain parts of your life are a bigger part of the picture. For me, the biggest parts were my roles as wife, mother, and teacher. I have a definite "before" and "after" in my life.

Rules at Impact: How to Survive Early Grief

Megan Devine | Posted 03.02.2014 | Healthy Living
Megan Devine

It's true that unexpected death messes with your world in a way few things can. Adding to this list, or creating a whole new one of your own, might give you just the tiniest roadmap inside a wholly disorienting time.

Why We Need To Change Our Approach To Grief

Megan Devine | Posted 02.10.2014 | Healthy Living
Megan Devine

The stages of grief were not meant to tell you what you feel, what you should feel, and when exactly you should feel it. They were not meant to dictate whether you are doing your grief "correctly" or not. They were meant to normalize a deeply not-normal time.

The Grieving Introvert and the Holidays: A Different Kind of Survival Guide

Megan Devine | Posted 01.30.2014 | Healthy Living
Megan Devine

Companion yourself. Care for yourself. Listen. Reach out where it feels good to reach, curl in when that is what you need. Make this season as much of a comfort to you as you can. And when it is not a comfort, know we're here. All these other grieving introverts: We get you. We understand.

10 Things Not to Say to a New Widow

Sandra Walker | Posted 11.03.2013 | Women
Sandra Walker

We feel the need to say something, to acknowledge what has happened. Because dealing with death is awkward and uncomfortable, sometimes, people will say some strange things.