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Nia Vardalos

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It's Time

Posted: 06/12/11 03:21 PM ET

I don't know Tracy Morgan.

I don't work for NBC.

I'm not a lesbian.

Or a gay man.

So, it would seem there isn't a reason for me to give much thought to his damaging words.

Except, one.

Enough is enough.

I would like to apologize to our entire gay and lesbian community that this hate still exists. I'm sorry someone can stand on a stage, spew violent, hateful words and images, then issue an apology, be described as not-really-like-that by his employers and co-workers, and go back to work.

Sure, we got the statements. Right away, people who know him issued words explaining his behavior and saying he's actually not really like that.

Oh.

So, that's it? We get a few statements from the people who work with him, and we all forget about it?

Not this time.

I want more. And, I respectfully request more. Much more.

When does the hate against our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters, end?

Sure, a writer or comedian riffing, working out material, often goes to strange and dark places. Editing is discouraged, because part of the journey is surprise and discovery. But what we discovered about Tracy Morgan is deeply disturbing.

He is homophobic.

His employers now know this about him. And, I don't think he should simply be vilified and shunned. Nor, just apologized for. I am optimistic wonderful Tina Fey and the brilliant writers won't just reference it on the show in a cute and sweet way, thus dealing with the incident with a wink and a nod. I hope NBC does more than issue a statement.

What I'm yearning for is simple: we've discovered Tracy Morgan has a problem, and now he needs help. There must be some result, more than a few apologies. Maybe this is a way to open the dialogue. Maybe sensitivity training. It happened. Let's address it and learn from it.

Or, is it now a question of a hate crime and a consequence?

When Isaiah Washington reportedly uttered homophobic slurs on Grey's Anatomy, he was fired. Perhaps, because he said it at work? Maybe he created an unsafe working environment, and was therefore asked to leave.

So, are we to assume Tracy Morgan has never expressed his innermost feelings about gay and lesbian people at work? Really? Ever? I wonder if his co-workers feel safe and at ease. The problem is, we've all seen it: this sort of joke is usually greeted with a laugh. Even an uncomfortable one, to ease the tension, is condoning the message.

There are reports that while some were angry, many people in the audience that evening, laughed.

That offends me. And, worries me. We live in an unsafe world. There are children and adults who go to school and work every day, knowing there are people who feel the same way as Tracy Morgan. They now know there was an audience who did not stand up and walk out when a man talked about stabbing his son if that child revealed himself to be gay. Stabbing. His son.

I feel sorry for Tracy Morgan. He revealed something about his feelings that show a deep fear. I hope he gets treatment for his problem. Thanks to the Internet, his words will be out there forever.

So, it happened. What do we do now? How this issue is dealt with will reveal a lot about our society and our ever-evolving levels of tolerance and acceptance of our gay and lesbian community.

As I said earlier, I am hopeful, I am optimistic.

But, it's time for this hate to end.

 
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Brian Gorrell
Is this the 1950's or what?
11:04 PM on 06/25/2011
Wow, this is AMAZING!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
lambdin1
What's this?
06:42 PM on 06/15/2011
Thanks! Somehow I equate Morgan with Sheen. Both have very large ego problems!
03:42 PM on 06/14/2011
When did hate speech (speech that disparages or intimidates a person or group based on such characteristics as race, gender, ethnicity, nationality, religion, sexual orientation) become so funny? I found transcripts of a few excerpts from the show and was appalled at Tracy Morgans “humor.†Is his speech protected under the First Amendment? Yes and No. Obscene material is not protected. Inflammatory words are not protected. Hate Speech generally is protected. Does that make it OK? Does that make it funny? Well apparently to many it does, as Nia noted that although some people in the audience were angered, many people in the audience laughed. What does this say about them? Well, maybe after a few drinks everything is funny. Did Tracy Morgan go to far? Well he has apologized. His wife as spoken as well. Who knows, maybe he is so used to being able to say whatever he wants for shock value that he really has no clue what he is saying. Is that an excuse? Of course not. Thank you Nia for your blog. Enough truly is enough.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MissFrijole
My bite is worse than my bark.
01:10 PM on 06/14/2011
I am just playing Devil's Advocate here and pointing out that he has the right to freedom of speech...so...you kind of have to factor that in. I don't agree with his comments. I have nothing against LGBT people. I have gay friends and even a transgendered one. I think celebrities do have to be careful what they say and advocate because a lot of people look up to them and follow them in some way or another. When someone says something offensive, people begin to boycott whatever they are peddling. When someone says something favorable, people flock to purchase whatever it is they are advertising. It's give and take. We have all said something we regretted later or had to apologize for. Tracy Morgan is only human and if he has such strong convictions against homosexuals and the like, then that is his personal problem.
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antaeus
Marriage Equality Is Here
06:27 AM on 06/15/2011
We're not talking about government restriction of his speech.

Unemployment should now be one of his problems, too.
06:13 AM on 06/14/2011
That was extremely awesome of you! Thank you for writing!! Seriously!
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12:03 AM on 06/14/2011
I can't keep up. I thought it was GLBT. What are the Q, I and A for?
10:03 PM on 06/13/2011
That was quite lovely and I really hope you read these comments Nia because I want you to know it's appreciated. I'm not gay either, but I completely agree with you: enough IS enough! Thank you for writing and sharing!
cdnman
Still a free spirit...
08:37 AM on 06/14/2011
My thoughts too..F and F
09:41 PM on 06/13/2011
Wow! I've loved your work but I never expected this. Thank you. It means a lot.
09:33 PM on 06/13/2011
What stuck in my head was the stabbing comment. Let's put in another word in place of gay and see how it sounds. Doesn't make it sound any better. I don't know ANYONE who thinks making a comment about stabbing someone for being (insert your word here) is funny. I don't gain any sense of hilarity over hurting someone, personally. Maybe if someone has the manners of a complete beast (and that's pushing it) will find bloodshed humorous, but I generally think most folks don't find comments as 'stabbing someone' prime comedic gold.
It's why I have so little patience for comedy' someone is always the butt of jokes, and the crueler the joke, the more people enjoy it, it seems. People who don't see anything wrong with this picture need their head examined for brain cells, because they're clearly not using them.
09:43 PM on 06/13/2011
The "it's gets better" campaign should graduate to "This has stop"
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antaeus
Marriage Equality Is Here
06:30 AM on 06/15/2011
Your comment cuts right to the quick of it. Performing that simple test gives the lie to all of his apologists and defenders. Thank you!
08:13 PM on 06/13/2011
Hi Nia, thanks for the kind words. Like Dontwanna said below, 30 Rock should make Tracy's character suddenly become gay. I also found Chris Rock's comments on the Tony Awards last night offensive.
Was he really hanging with Nathan Lane, or was that code for I had to hang out with gay people.
09:17 AM on 06/14/2011
As a gay man, I did not find Chris Rock's remarks offensive. It was a joke about his unusual circumstances considering there was a big game on...

We can't lose our sense of humor about inocuous remarks such as these.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Bill J4321
05:54 PM on 06/13/2011
Thank you, Nia.

Here's hoping those apologies will some day be made by the people that require this repentance, instead of those who have already seen the light.
04:41 PM on 06/13/2011
He's a comedian.....
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05:33 PM on 06/13/2011
he wasn't funny
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Bill J4321
05:52 PM on 06/13/2011
'Comedian' is not the word I would have chosen...
04:00 PM on 06/13/2011
Why do some (so-called) comedians think that everything they say is funny? It isn't! They
are often cruel.
A gay friend was kinder to an old lady, my Aunt, than was her own family...straight and
recipients of many loans to them. He mowed her lawn, saw that she got prescriptions,etc.
with no pay-back wanted. He had more heart than the bunch of them put together.
I have even known gay/lesbian nurses who worked very hard during war and peace.

Sad that jerks like this Tracy run loose. Let's put him on permanent vacation.
nsmavrik
Intelligence over Obedience
01:38 PM on 06/14/2011
You are wrong about your first sentence. It is all about context.

Now, Not knowing in what context Tracy used the statement in his act, or how anyone would use "I'll stab my son in the head if I found out he was gay" in the proper context, I can't say if it was funny. However, EVERYTHING is funny, as long as it is used in the proper context.

Judging by everyone's reaction, it seems that Tracy used the statement in an improper context, which is obviously bad.
03:20 PM on 06/13/2011
What I always find ridiculous in these situations is when people go to the "But that's not who he really is" defense.

Well, if he thought to say it and then said it and kept talking about it, then yeah, that's at least part of who he is.

If your mind allows you to think up the jokes and then actually get in front of an audience and tell them, then who else is it?

When Tina Fey says that's not the Tracy Morgan I know, then she clearly doesn't know the guy -- which I find hard to believe given how many years they've worked together -- or she's lying.

Also, and Nia pointed this out in her essay, I think one of the more disturbing parts of his rant was the talk of stabbing his son. Who jokes about that? I have three kids and I can't imagine a parent even wanting to spend a second with that thought in their head.

I don't know how old his son is, and he may laugh it off in the years ahead. But in the back of his mind, his dad's awful attempt at humor is going to linger.
02:54 PM on 06/13/2011
I would like to say that even though Nia’s point of view is well intentioned, but it isn’t eloquently put together. The problem with our community (yes, I’m gay), is that social media has turned many people on to witch hunts and even though Tracy Morgan’s comments are going to be in the internet for eternity, people will eventually forget about it. It HAS happened! I remember when people were all up in arms and torches about “El Coyote†restaurant's contribution to Prop8 and sweared to never go back, go there on Friday nights... Gays sipping on margaritas. I just think, that not everyone should be appointed to be the voice of reason, but if you do, I would expect not to finish your statement with a question, but with an answer. I see too many rants about this in my facebook feeds to see more of the same being said.
03:05 PM on 06/13/2011
*swore not sweared...
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antaeus
Marriage Equality Is Here
06:52 PM on 06/13/2011
No one I know still goes to El Coyote. Must be confused tourists from Riverside.