Indulging Der Pope

Der Pope, Benedict XVI, is going home to Germany on one of those home town boy makes good visits. He’ll be in Cologne, where the eau de comes from, for World Youth Day (Roman Catholic division).

To make sure he’ll have a crowd the Pope is giving every kid who shows up a "special indulgence." An indulgence is a kind of early release certificate which entitles the bearer to time off from purgatory, the place where Catholics are sent after they die to be whipped and stuff as punishment for their sins, before they get to go on to Heaven. Some Catholics, not many, who are into S and M have no use for their indulgences. I don’t know if a Catholic who doesn’t want to use his indulgence can sell it.

There is also something called a “plenary indulgence” which wipes out all punishment time. No purgatory and you go straight to Heaven which is good. It’s not as good as the 77 virgins which the Moslems get, but you don’t have to blow yourself up to win an indulgence.

It used to be that you could buy them. The Church sold indulgences by the car lot in the old days. Selling tickets to Heaven was one of the things which really, really pissed off Martin Luther about 500 years ago and caused him to start Protestantism. There is talk that, if the Pope runs short of money to pay for the damages accruing from the priest pederasty suits, he might start the business up again. Check this space for prices.