I am in no way saying that having a newborn baby is as awful as a zombie apocalypse (though I've never experienced the latter). These similarities are meant to be a humorous look at the ways in which the two experiences may be alike.
The idea for this post came to me as I was in a particularly intense parent-of-a-newborn brain fog, where I felt like a zombie. Then I sat down and came up with these 8 ways that having a newborn baby can be compared to a zombie apocalypse.
1. Your life is dictated by a being with a less-developed brain, who just wants to feed.
Zombie Apocalypse: With zombies wandering everywhere, looking to feed on you, you have to change the way you live your life.
Newborn Baby: With a baby needing to be fed (at least at first) every 2.5-3 hours, you also have to make some adjustments to your routine.
2. You must band together with friends and family in order to ensure survival.
Zombie Apocalypse: Without the support of loved ones, you won't stand a chance against the hordes of flesh-eating zombies.
Newborn Baby: It's equally imperative that you receive help from those who care about you. Otherwise, you're bound to get overwhelmed.
3. The world outside ceases to exist.
Zombie Apocalypse: Forget about the world outside the safety cocoon you've built for yourself, because you're better off staying where you are.
Newborn Baby: You may want to walk through those doors and explore the world you once knew, but most times you decide it's better to stay where it's safe.
4. You get far less sleep, due to impending feedings.
Zombie Apocalypse: It's not easy to sleep when you're dreading the appearance of a zombie looking to dine on you.
Newborn Baby: Having a baby eat every 2.5 to 3 hours makes it hard to relax and drift away. Even though you're oh-so-tired!
5. You start to appreciate how easy things used to be.
Zombie Apocalypse: There's not a whole lot of relaxation and enjoyment that takes place when zombies run amok.
Newborn Baby: You may have thought that having dogs was a lot of responsibility, for example. It really wasn't.
6. You eventually lose friends to these feeding beings.
Zombie Apocalypse: Odds are that the zombies will get to some of your friends, who won't be seen for a while, if ever again.
Newborn Baby: Your friends will begin to have babies, meaning that (at least for a while), you probably won't see them.
7. You can't prepare by reading a handbook or guide.
Zombie Apocalypse: You think you're ready to live in a world overrun by zombies, simply because you read What to Expect When You're in the Throes of a Zombie Takeover? Real-world experience may indicate otherwise.
Newborn Baby: It's great to read books before baby's arrival, so you have an idea of what to expect. A lot of that will go right out the window once you're thrown into it, meaning you'll forget or disregard a lot of what you read.
8. Eventually your brain functions decrease, and you walk around slowly and disoriented.
Zombie Apocalypse: Chances are you, too, will succumb to the overwhelming zombie force, thus becoming one of them.
Newborn Baby: Due to sleep deprivation and huge life changes, you will likely become indistinguishable from a zombie, yourself.
This post was originally published at Dudemesticated.com.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.