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Nigel Barber

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Is the Debate on Gay Marriage Effectively Over?

Posted: 07/10/2012 9:34 pm

If you want to know what the future holds, talk to young people. On social issues, young American adults today are far more liberal than their parents. The majority support gay marriage (50 percent in favor versus 36 percent against with the remainder undecided.)

Many young people cannot understand why their elders are so hung up on the issue on religious grounds. They greet the marriage of Democratic Congressman Barney Frank to long time partner Jim Ready with a yawn.

In future generations, barring a seismic shift in opinions, it seems inevitable that opposition to gay marriage will age and die out whereas support will mature into a substantial national majority.

From the point of view of establishing a democratic majority that favors gay marriage, the future seems to be a foregone conclusion. So what has happened in this country that has pushed young Americans to the opposite side of the gay marriage see-saw from their parents?

Why young people support gay marriage

There is no single reason why young adults are overwhelmingly in favor of extending full marriage rights to homosexuals but there are many plausible possibilities.

To begin with, anyone who was born in a world of greater racial equality has been educated to view racial discrimination as immoral. This "affirmative action" perspective is transferable to other categories of people who can be harmed by discrimination. Of course, the gay-lesbian-bisexual-transgendered lobby has been active in promoting this message, particularly on college campuses.

There is widespread appreciation that a homosexual orientation is not a choice. Indeed, homosexuality is now understood to be biologically predisposed in much the same way that heterosexuality is (1).

Although scientists continue to work out the details, it is now hard to doubt that homosexuality is predisposed by genes, or prenatal hormonal influences, or both (1). Of course, the prevalence of homosexual behavior in many different species of birds and mammals points in the same direction (2).

Having been exposed to such scientific information from an early age, young people are generally not persuaded that homosexual conduct is simply a lifestyle choice analogous to choosing volleyball over football. (Why anyone would ever opt for being a member of a discriminated-against minority has always stretched credulity on this issue).

Perhaps we should not forget that sexual behavior has changed greatly over the decades. Today, relatively few people marry their high school sweetheart and stay married to the same person for life. So the conventional heterosexual ideal that religious conservatives promote as the way to live is more honored in the breach than in the observance.

Bluntly phrased, religious conservatives promote a form of marriage that has not been typical of the majority for decades. Indeed, sexual relationships have become so fluid that marriage is becoming less relevant whether it is gay or straight.

Most young people no longer require a religious union to sanction their sexual behavior. That is not just because they are more liberal in sexual matters. It is also because they are becoming distinctly more secular (4). So the arguments of gay marriage opponents are falling on deaf young ears.

Sources
1. LeVay, S. (2010). Gay, straight, and the reason why. New York: Oxford University Press.
2. Roughgarden, J. (2005). Evolution's rainbow: Diversity, gender, and sexuality in nature and people. Berkeley: University of California Press.
4. Barber, N. (2012). Why atheism will replace religion: The triumph of earthly pleasures over pie in the sky. E-book.

 
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01:23 AM on 07/24/2012
Being a sexually active homosexual IS a lifestyle choice. Just like being an active predatory pedophile is. People may be born with all kinds of strange sexual desires and impulses, but it's their choice and their responsibility if they choose to act them out in real life. The last thing we should be doing is saying these sorts of perversions are normal or okay. Sodom and Gammorrah, here we come again.
09:20 PM on 08/06/2012
Joe, let me try to understand your position. Clearly you are against gay marriage, that is, you do not want a gay man to marry another man, right? OK, I get that. But are you then saying that the gay man should marry a woman? Isn't that the only option left? We only have men and women on the planet, and you don't want a gay guy to marry a man, but you think that is should be perfectly legal for him to marry a woman, right? Well this is what happened to my family in 1974. After my parents' divorce, my mom re-married, and it turned out to be a gay man she married. It nearly destroyed her life, and was quite a miserable experience for her, me and my brother. Then, believe it or not, my dad also re-married to a woman who later told him she was a lesbian taking cover. He then went down some weird relgious path after that and we feel he was disturbed, and that lasted for about 15 years. So when you say you are against gay marriage, look at the only option you are leaving these people with.
02:07 AM on 08/07/2012
How is the world is your babble relevant to a Gay couple seeking to make a commitment? Your comment shows an incredible ignorance of relationships, sexuality, and moral behavior. We should be encouraging young people, Gay or straight, to commit before sex. Marriage is inherently conservative, and the benefits of that commitment are as good for society as it is for the couple.

The message should be: "Wed him before you bed him"
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Inis Magrath
I comment, therefore I am.
02:30 PM on 07/12/2012
No. The battle for equality is not "effectively over" by any stretch. Not when the anti-gay National Organization for Marriage and other bigoted organizations are spending literally millions of dollars to spread their lies and propaganda in a relentless campaign to continue to deprive LGBT people of first-class citizen equality.

Victory may be inevitable, but it is by no means over.
03:36 PM on 07/14/2012
It's only even inevitable if we don't act like it is and just sit down and wait.
12:05 AM on 07/12/2012
I'm a Christian mother of demonstrably straight adult kids. Now that that's out of the way, the perspective of matters of discrimination used to be pushed by bible-thumpers for generations, and by status quo types. Today, those demonstrations against living, breathing human beings are an American tale of tragic embarrassment and shame, and the families of those who shouted loudest, today, do everything within their power to distance themselves from even acknowledging any relation to the oppressive, humiliating past.

The kids today have a head start on that one, and are fast dissociating from 'em, knowing the spectacle before their eyes.

It's a crazy thing called, "evolution", that seems to upset the self-inflicting minority. Yes, I said that.
11:59 PM on 07/11/2012
I liked this article until the part about religion in the end. Obviously you dont know much on gay and lesbian youth, and why we make the choices we do. My girlfriend and I (im a girl as well) are both catholic, yet bisexual and together. So are many lgbt. I know a transsexual who goes to a Christian church that accepts him/her. So just because a small group of loud and obnoxious Christians in the bible belt are anti gay does not mean that lgbt don't care about religion. I care very much about my religion, I just believe that God made me this way so He must have nothing against it. The bible was written by humans anyways...
02:03 PM on 07/12/2012
Gay and catholic , gotta love the masochism. No offense. One of the reasons that made me into an atheist WAS the fact I was gay. It lead me to question religious beliefs that had been taught to me and honestly , I couldn't be better since. Why a gay person would choose to stay in the catholic church flabergasts me.
03:16 PM on 07/12/2012
No offense but I hate atheism and I hate even more when gay people become atheist just because people tell them god won't love them for being gay. It's retarded. I'm proud to be catholic and I'm not going to stop believing in God just because an old man in a robe with a funny hat tells me that it's wrong to love a girl. I'm sick of people dissing my religion. Im never going to stop being catholic and neither is my gf. So I don't understand what's so 'flabbergastjng' about it
03:41 PM on 07/14/2012
Well, then, try thinking some more. Suppose, in questioning your beliefs, you'd decided that the Catholic Church was, on the whole, RIGHT aside from a few (relatively) minor points here and there like their attitude towards gay people. Then what?
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chaya
Another proud veteran
12:01 PM on 07/11/2012
Exactly. In another generation or two, the furor over gay marriage will be ancient history.

Unfortunately, my partner and I will be dead by then.

So let's just accept the inevitable right now, okay?
12:06 AM on 07/12/2012
We straight allies are trying, for what it's worth.
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chaya
Another proud veteran
09:31 AM on 07/12/2012
Thank you kcar.  :)
12:18 PM on 07/12/2012
I heart ya!!!!
09:18 AM on 07/11/2012
Well, there is also the fact that younger gay people have been taught that "coming out of the closet" is all but a social necessity, and this probably has a lot to do with it. People might not have any problem dissing the rights of some stranger, but it's kind of hard to do that and still be able to make eye-contact with someone in your life who is hurt by it. Human beings are by nature very clannish.
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Robyn Harper
Blogger @ Gay Girl Revolution
08:33 AM on 07/11/2012
Interesting take on it.

Firstly, by calling it 'gay marriage' on the lead up to equality, what makes us think that it won't be 'gay marriage' after equality? That marriages involving gay people won't be seen as, and called something different. Once equality is established, the law will call it marriage, but will society?

Secondly, I never get the whole choice argument. Even if it was a choice, that still does not justify or gives grounds for discrimination. Choice or not, nothing makes discrimination or inequality okay.
10:06 AM on 07/11/2012
The term "interracial marriage" was far more prevalent in the 70's than it is now. But you're right, the term will stick around for the foreseeable future.
03:46 PM on 07/14/2012
The distinction in language is necessary so long as we're discussing the differences (and lack of differences) that exist depending on whether the partners to the marriage are of the same or opposite sexes. It won't be that way forever, but insisting on talking around an adjective because you believe on principle it *shouldn't* be necessary serves no purpose but to complicate things.

On the other hand, when it really *isn't* necessary, (such as "Shane and Jason are married") that's different.
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Robyn Harper
Blogger @ Gay Girl Revolution
09:41 PM on 07/14/2012
Distinction and difference. Exactly. You said it best.
07:37 AM on 07/11/2012
No, it is not over. The trend is continuing in the right direction. But, it is NOT a done deal, yet. The proverbial "fat lady" has not yet sung.

This is not the time to relax. The work of talking to neighbors and coworkers, has to continue until the victory is fully won. Many teams have lost a game because they stopped playing when they got ahead.
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nzchicago
02:05 AM on 07/11/2012
Another possible reason is that more and more young people have out gay family and friends, so it is just an ordinary fact of life for them.

Conventional wisdom says that people get more conservative as they get older, but there is research that says the opposite is in fact true - when it comes to social issues. So it looks fairly likely that these changes in attitude will be permanent.
12:10 AM on 07/12/2012
Racism and bigotry hasn't ended just yet, it's only gone to the marginal fringe, and been a blight and embarrassment to greater society. So, too, will matters of equality in regards to LGBT issues.
been2there
Facts have a liberal bias.
01:41 AM on 07/11/2012
Maybe. For 60 years people thought the debate over contraception was over, but look what popped up this year!
I hope so. I suspect, however, that there will be several attempts to undo the progress, and, just as I once warned women of my acquaintance not to take contraception as granted, I warn people against thinking this will end without a few more very ugly skirmishes.
12:56 AM on 07/11/2012
I wasn't aware that homosexuality is now understood to be biologically predisposed in much the same way as is heterosexuality. Would somebody please post a reference or two that supports this?
been2there
Facts have a liberal bias.
01:43 AM on 07/11/2012
Google "biological evidence of homosexuality." I came up with 147,000 hits, ranging from twin studies, to family pedigree studies, to multiple male offspring studies.
07:44 AM on 07/11/2012
Google Scholar finds 41000 published journal articles on the subject.
http://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=biological+causes+of+homosexuality
Some of them are from religious institutions, attempting to refute the others, of course. But the vast majority of the articles say that, yes, there is a biological cause. That is about as well proven as things get in natural science. Most questions are considered "settled" by the time there are a couple dozen articles.
09:08 AM on 07/11/2012
I can't speak to specific studies, but I can say I never made a choice to be homosexual. My heterosexual brothers and sisters say the same thing about their orientation.
02:45 AM on 07/11/2012
Generally understood to be does not mean proven to be. There's evidence, but no absolute proof. But then, people who say it's a matter of choice or of poor parenting never even bother with evidence.
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Jeffrey Marks
07:41 AM on 07/11/2012
Short of testing fetuses and injecting them with hormones in utero, you're not going to get absolute proof.

A preponderance of studies have shown that the timing of hormones impacts the brain of the fetus and some of those hormones impact orientation.
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Wayne Peterson
12:51 AM on 07/11/2012
Put simply, young people are more discerning than their parents. No longer is "the bible says" dispositive, nor bigotry tolerated.
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chrisicarus22
Forlorn,verging on ecstatic
12:19 AM on 07/11/2012
Sorry to be a bore...you are under thirty and are not a liberal you have no heart..you are over thirty and are not a conservative you have no brain..not that Iagree with such nonsense but a liberal kid ain't necessarily a liberal adult
been2there
Facts have a liberal bias.
01:44 AM on 07/11/2012
What now passes for "conservative" would have been called lunacy by Disraeli!
02:47 AM on 07/11/2012
By that logic, the 65+ demographic would have been in favor of gay marriage 40-50 years ago.
08:31 AM on 07/11/2012
More than you can imagine were.