We've all done it: point the finger at our parents for our past mistakes because, well, they raised us and supposedly taught us well and that they are supposed to know better. We're who we are because of the lessons they've taught us or what we've been raised to believe, they've been responsible for everything we've done our lives, the highs the low and the in between moments, but what happens when everything goes to hell?
Do we blame them or take responsibility for ourselves? It's a toss up because we're so afraid of falling on our faces and admitting defeat that we toss blame on those who raised is. After all there's no such thing as accountability anymore and if there is, it's damn little.
We blame our parents for everything in our lives that's gone wrong: illnesses, disabilities, emotional issues... whatever is going on in our lives, we blame them. and in some cases it's easier that way because we don't want the total load dropped on us. It's not fair for us to only be screwed up -- might as well take down those responsible for our existence.
I admit, I've blamed my father for my learning disability and the fact I'm immune deficient because it's his genetics that are to blame, but I take full responsibility for my humor and writing skills. Those I had some control over and was able to hone, while genetics can't be trimmed.
My Aunt Mame said to me recently that she feels guilty for everything my cousins and I have been through -- being bullied, life problems that we've had to deal with -- and she wishes that things could have been different, but how?
It's always the life we envisioned but good things happen, we just need to celebrate them instead of turning around and putting the screws to our parents for all our mistakes. I jokingly call my mother Mommie Dearest because she's a hard-ass, but without her constantly in my face, I'd never get anywhere.
My favorite saying is "They blame our generation for being screwed up but those are the ones that raised us," which is true: the world falls apart and we're the ones who caused it, but when everything's great, we've had no part in it.
So how do we break the cycle? Do we step up and say "You're right, it's my own fault," or do we keep saying "My parents screwed me up therefore nothing I do will superseed that?"
Do you blame your parents for all the wrongs but not the rights?