THE BLOG

3 Reasons Why Falling in Love Is So Hard

02/16/2015 01:00 pm ET | Updated Apr 18, 2015

We are in a world where we can download an app on our phone, swipe right, and get a date for the night. We have all of these self-proclaimed dating experts telling us that there are plenty of fish in the sea. You look in the mirror and wonder why you are still single.

I have never met anyone who says to themselves, "Wow, I love not having a special person that infuses my soul with love and energy that I can share life's amazing adventures with." We are social beings, and we have survived as a species through being connected. So why is so darn hard to fall in love now? I believe there are three main reasons. If you are ready for some honesty, keep reading.

We don't try hard enough, because we have "the next best thing" syndrome.

Our world as it is now loves instant gratification. We love when things are easy, fun, and exciting. That often leads us to forgetting that there is this thing called reality. Things are not always easy. The phrase, "there are plenty of fish in the sea" is a part of the problem. We look at our partner as expendable, replaceable, and when things get hard we just don't try hard enough. I believe that most relationships end in today's world because we have simply gotten lazy and are always thinking that the grass is greener on the other side. What happens when you wake up one day, and realize that it's not? What happens when you realize that you let the love of your life go, because you simply were just to take notice and try harder? What if you had the same attitude with your career? Would you stop going for your dreams because it simply got a little tough? I sure hope you would answer that with a no. Wake up everyone, please!

Relationships are the most beautiful part of our lives, and yet we give them the least priority because we always think there is someone else. Realize that when you bring two humans into a situation where emotions and different perspectives become intertwined there will always be misunderstandings and rough patches, but it is in those times that you become more united and grow into better humans individually. Would you rather have long term happiness with some work, or short term instant gratification that leaves you feeling empty? It's your choice.

We lose ourselves.

The greatest mistake we make is getting into a relationship because we are lonely or we think that it will make us happier. Well, I don't know about you, but when you add one unhappy person + another unhappy person I am certain that does not equal sharing a blissful, amazing life together. We have to understand who we are, and make sure that we are happy being with ourselves before we can expect to be happy with someone else.

I watched a TED talk that said our partner desires us most when they see us shining in our element doing what we love, and after going on a trip or circumstance where some distance is involved. I am not surprised by this at all. We are happiest when we are happy in our own skin, and it's an added bonus when we can share that joy with another person. Two people in a relationship out of necessity is not true love. Two people who are both content with who they are, that choose to be in a relationship because they want to be with, not need, the other person have the kind of love we all truly want.

We take our partner for granted.

We are all guilty of it to some degree. We wake up thinking that he or she are always going to be there, so why go the extra distance? Your partner tells you often how much they care about you, goes out of their way to do little things, and is not afraid to let others know how much you mean to them too. You think everything is going great, but what you might not realize is that they are human also, and want to feel just as loved and appreciated. It might not happen right away, but they will start to feel neglected, unappreciated, and undesired. At this point both parties are at fault, one for not putting in the extra effort and the other for not saying how they feel.

If you are lucky enough to have someone in your life that cares so much about you that they go out of their way just to put a smile on your face, please don't be stupid and take that for granted!

We all want to be fought for. Fight for them, tell them how you feel, and tell the world how they make you feel, because that will make them feel like the world. Isn't that the point? Don't get comfortable. Keep igniting the passion by showing the other person you care. Don't let that one amazing person get away because you did not take the effort to show them just how much they mean to you. If you love someone, tell them. If someone has changed your world, tell them. We all want to feel significant in the eyes of people we care about the most.