THE BLOG
03/09/2006 01:30 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Will Somebody Please Get Rid Of This President?

The guy has to go.

His medicated wife has to go.

His venal advisors have to go.

How any of these people got to the White House in the first place is a mystery to me.

But every week as I watch them go through one inexplicable episode after another, I can't help hoping that someone will get rid of them all.

Especially the President.

At first I was confused by him. He's small in the shoulders and completely inept. So I thought Bush.

But I was completely wrong: it's not Bush, it's Nixon. Jug ears. Shifty eyes. Suits that don't quite fit. Jerky little head motions.

Fine. Whatever. I like seeing an incompetent Republican on the Fox Network. And I don't ask for much logic - after all, this is a reality where people who are twelve feet away from one another in the same room call each other on cell phones and don't even use Speed Dial.

But four weeks ago, when this President agreed with his chief advisor that it would be a good idea to allow a group of terrorists to detonate some nerve gas in a shopping mall, I began to lose my mind.

And now I watch for one reason alone: in the hope that someone will get rid of this President.

Normally I don't like to interfere. I believe in letting the narrative unfold. Last week New York Magazine ran an article in which several well-known people volunteered their plot solutions for this year's Sopranos season, and I was appalled. David Chase is perfectly capable of deciding whether Tony Soprano lives or dies without my input. And as for the Soprano marriage -- which I identify with in a strange and incomprehensible way -- I don't even have a fantasy about it. The fight between Tony and Carmela that took place two seasons ago was, in my opinion, the finest marital argument ever written in the history of drama; this couple can clearly sort things out without my help.

But "24" is another matter entirely. The President must go.

And I'm hopeful. It's seven o'clock. A Vice President has suddenly appeared on the show. It's hard to get rid of a President if there's no Vice President, but there one was, suddenly, practically out of the blue, complete with Power Points. I was thrilled to see him.

So please. Do it. Get rid of President Logan. The sooner the better. I'm dying out here.