03/28/2008 02:48 am ET Updated May 25, 2011

Alan Keyes: Media Conspiracy Suppressing My Campaign

Richardson fails math. Is Huck faster than a speeding leopard? Thompson flexes acting skills in Iowa. Mitt sees Bush as nation's savior.

The following piece was produced through the Huffington Post's OffTheBus. Edited by Richard Riehl and Denise Wheeler. Reported by Kirsten Anderson, Ken Bank, River Curtis-Stanley, Jodi Lampert, Julie Pierce, Debbi Plummer, and Theresa Weathers.


Alan Keyes gets no respect: The mouth-that-never-quits posted on his web site an analysis of the Iowa GOP debate to prove a media conspiracy is suppressing his candidacy. It seems he was allotted less time and interrupted more often than any other candidate. Debate moderator Carolyn Washburn should be commended for protecting the environment from needless hot air emissions.

Candidate cooks the polls: The Richardson campaign's latest email boasts, "A brand new poll out of New Hampshire says that not only are HALF of all Democratic voters undecided -- a THIRD of those who've picked their candidate could change their mind. That's 4 out of 5 voters who aren't sure who they're voting for!" It's actually only 2 out of 3. Unless half the possible mind-changers are also undecided about changing their minds. That may not even be legal in the "Live Free or Die" state.

Can Huckabee outrun a leopard? Team Huckabee posted a video from a supporter this week on the candidate's website. Titled "A Whole New Race," it shows a leopard chasing an impala across a field. As the mellifluous voice intones, "have you ever wondered if..." we see a man appear in street clothes, looking curiously like Huck, racing past the leopard and snatching up the fleeing impala--saving the animal from certain death.

Thompson eyes the Oscars! Fred's daily video update shows the candidate warming up a crowd in Iowa with a tired old standup comedy quip that disses the line of work he's begging to return to: "I heard a fella say when I left that it was so cold in Washington some of the politicians had their hands in their own pockets." Later, he plays the old coach, sitting in a booth across from a young woman, a nervous knee waving back and forth, as he explains why he's not worried about his poll numbers. "Let's not call the game until at least we're into the fourth quarter."

McCain fires away at Romney: John McCain has launched a direct mail frontal attack on Romney, targeting him as a serial flip-flopper that voters can't trust. The mailer contains a picture of Romney holding up his fingers. "How many times has Mitt Romney flip-flopped?'' the mailer demands. "Immigration, taxes, gay rights, abortion, campaign finance reform.'' Romney's state campaign director promptly fired back, "Senator McCain's weak approach to illegal immigration should be the last issue he tries to use when attacking and distorting the record of Governor Romney.'' Strap on those flak jackets, folks. The mailers are really starting to fly.

Jolly Old Mitt: It must be the mistletoe, or thoughts of Santa's plunge down the chimney, that prompted Romney to put aside his flip-flopping and remind us all how grateful we should be this holiday season. "As Americans prepare for the holidays with their families and loved ones, we have many challenges to face but also many reasons to be thankful. We are thankful we live in a nation that is still a land of freedom, hope and opportunity. And we can be thankful that President Bush has kept us safe. Too often our politicians in Washington and on the campaign trail seem to have forgotten this simple fact." He did say BUSH, right? Oh well, 'tis the season....


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