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Keyes calls America "Kingdom of Darkness"

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Roadkill: OffTheBus's Ongoing RoundUp of the Awkward, the Ugly, and the Just Plain Weird

The following piece was produced through the Huffington Post's OffTheBus. Edited by Richard Riehl. Reported by Kirsten Anderson, Ken Bank, River Curtis-Stanley, Jodi Lampert, Julie Pierce, Debbi Plummer, and Theresa Weathers.

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Huckabee reveals himself as Moses of red tape: The Huckster was in the Little Havana section of Miami when he promised to reduce government regulations. "I'm not able to part the Red Sea, but if I'm president I'm going to try to part the red tape," he told his audience. This guy can't even part the red ink in his expense account.

Rudy's campaign manager declares love for the Bush years: Campaign manager Michael DuHaime sent this curious email to supporters Saturday: "Instead of laying out a clear vision for the future, Democrats, and their army of Washington bureaucrats, are trying to take us back in time. Back to a time of higher taxes. Back to a time of higher unemployment and excess regulation." Back to a time when the last Democrat was president, before Bush, 9-11, the Iraq war, Katrina and the recession doesn't sound that bad to us.

Chelsea needs a debate date: Last week Hillary announced she'll pick a lucky California supporter to be her guest at Thursday's debate, promising to chat with him/her following the event. Now first daughter hopeful Chelsea is asking for a seat mate: "I'm definitely planning on being at the next debate in Los Angeles. Would you like to join me? The campaign is picking an online supporter from California to watch the January 31 debate in Los Angeles with me and to meet my mom. I know she'll be thrilled to meet you." Unlike her parents, Chelsea promises not to whisper trash talk about Obama during the evening's festivities.

The campaign that won't die: In Saturday's email, which he promises will be his last (no, really), Kyle Jones, Western Director of Young Professionals for Fred Thompson, announces a new group calling itself "Fredheads Unite at Fred08 Reborn: Where Friends of Fred Gather." Asking "Who said Freddy's Dead?" they're launching a write-in campaign for the former couch potato candidate. We wonder if Fred will be fired up enough to write his own name on a ballot without being prompted by his "trophy wife."

Keyes calls America "Kingdom of Darkness": His Holiness is campaigning in Texas, where he told an audience he believes America has moved from "the kingdom of God to the kingdom of darkness - of lies and deception." He's right about the lies and deception; just ask family members of soldiers killed in Iraq.

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