WARNING: This post contains sexually explicit language. Please read on at your own discretion.
Last weekend I watched a TV commercial aimed at women. (I was watching Lifetime, OK?) It started with a bunch of generic ideas for Valentine's Day gifts for men: a mug, cologne, a tie. The voiceover then suggested giving him what he really wants this year: a new bottle of KY. It was clever, kind of, except that to me, personal lubricants are more of an everyday necessity, like dish soap, than a rare gift for special occasions.
With that heteronormative inspiration in mind, I decided to compile my own special list of gift ideas to put you in the mood and make sure that you and your partner don't leave the house this Valentine's Day. (To see photos of the gifts, check out my blog.)
Revel and Riot T-shirt: Gifting your boy an item of clothing means that eventually that item of clothing will have to come off... and there's nothing sexier than a guy who's not afraid to make a statement. So thank God for Revel and Riot. The T-shirt company is all about LGBT visibility and gay rights. They got a lot of attention after collaborating with the band Fun. and getting Tegan and Sara to sport their simple but stylish pro-gay garbs. The one design that really stood out for me was the one with the Harvey Milk reference.
Mangasm sex toy: Why give your boyfriend a blow job on Valentine's Day when there's a machine that can do that for you? Sex toys for couples may seem like too much hassle, considering all the equipment we bring in to the bedroom, but Valentine's Day is the perfect time to bring out all the weapons in our arsenal. For all your man sex toy needs, check out Mangasm. In addition to selling the popular Fleshlight, the online store offers "male G-spot" stimulators and vibrators made of silicone as well as the world's first-ever blow job machine, the Autoblow Blast.
Boy Butter lubricant: When it comes to personal lubricants, let's be real: KY is not going to cut it. Just in time for Valentine's Day, Boy Butter is celebrating its 10th anniversary by releasing a Gold Label lubricant. As with the debut Boy Butter product, the Gold Label is made from coconut oil and organic silicone, yet it's water-soluble, meaning it can be washed off with water from both skin and fabrics. And just like with real butter, you can totally eat it.
Nasty Pig F-19 Flight Suit: Pornographers with vivid imaginations have become Nasty Pig spokesmen. The clothing company specializes in multicolored jock straps, leather chaps and other kinky accessories but has recently also started selling comfortable hoodies, sweatpants and T-shirts for everyday wear. What I'm intrigued by is the F-19 Flight Suit, which is like something straight out of an Army surplus store but tailor-made for military role play, with the zipper going way down below the waist. Who says Valentine can't have a prisoner of war?
Bruno Gmünder 69 Positions game: The Berlin-based publisher of male erotic photo books has released its first game. Described as a Twister for 21st-century fags, 69 Positions: A Sexy Matching Game is based on the photo book of the same name. In the game, players' memories are tested as they try to match the name of a sex position with the correct explicit image of two Bel Ami models going at it. Memorizing sex positions beyond missionary style will certainly prove fruitful in the bedroom later this week.
This post originally appeared on Confessions of a Boy Toy.