Miramax Films today confirmed a biopic about Tim Tebow's ascent to the position of New York Jets second-string quarterback. The movie, titled Tebowing, is due out the summer of 2013.
Tebowing, which lacks a script, cast, director and firm storyline, is already the most anticipated movie of all time. Industry analyst are expecting Tebowing to break all box office records, even those that will likely be set by The Dark Knight Rises this July.
"Tebow wouldn't like me saying this, but he, like the Beatles in the '60s, is bigger than God," said Craig Howard, Tebow's high school football coach."He's bigger than Rex Ryan."
Movie critics predict a maudlin iteration of the hero archetype in Tebowing, but Tebow fans are already clamoring for an Oscar nod.
"Tebowing is the greatest movie of all time and should definitely win the Oscar for best picture, actor, director and whatever else they have Oscars for," exclaimed Stacy Melia, University of Florida alumna and avid Tebow fan.
Though the cast has not been set, Tebow was asked by the studio to play himself in the biopic. The former Bronco turned down the offer.
"I'm not interested in acting, goshdarnit," said Tebow. "I'm only interested in playing quarterback. And Jesus. Jesus and playing quarterback -- maybe even at the same time. Wait, that sounds wrong. I have to go pray."
Tebow will hold a press conference this Monday to talk about all the things he has yet to do.
Originally featured in The Daily Pygmy.