When it comes to vodka, the Russians don't mess around. They write dissertations about it (Dmitri Mendeleev, the chemistry professor who invented the Periodic Table of Elements, established its precise 80-proof formula in 1894), they create monopolies over it (Tsar Ivan III protected it as early as the 1470s only then it was known as "hot wine," "bread wine" or "green wine") and they drink it. Straight up. In shot glasses. In one brave swig.
Russian billionaire Roustam Tariko, the entrepreneur behind Russian Standard, Russia's largest vodka maker, recently made headlines for forking over a whopping $3 million for the rights to own vodka.com. That's $375,000 per letter.
Indeed, vodka has played a crucial role in the history of Russian civilization from its production in 15th-century monasteries to fundraising for Peter the Great's reforms, from lost military battles (Stalin's daily rations became known as Commissar's 100 Grams) to Gorbachev's ill-fated attempt to curtail its consumption, an unilaterally unpopular campaign that was abandoned within two years.
So you won't be surprised to hear that I downed a sizable portion of Russia's national drink on a recent river cruise between Moscow and St. Petersburg. The crew on the Scenic Tsar, a new boutique ship, the first new build since the Soviet thaw, even went so far as to teach me how to balance a shot glass on my elbow, drink without my hands and finish an entire bottle in one sitting, an absolute necessity if you don't want to offend your Russian hosts.
The comforting news, at least for those who care about my (hic) welfare, is that each bottle of vodka is meant to be shared between three friends, a tradition started during Kruschev times when a joint investment of a ruble apiece could buy the standard 500 milliliter bottle. Of course, there was also a time after the Soviet collapse when the ruble was basically worthless and the currency was vodka. But that's another story.
To properly drink vodka, you'll also need brown bread, salted fish and pickled veggies, especially pickled tomatoes. You swig a shot (sipping is strictly forbidden) after which you nurture your burning throat with the bread and salted, pickled accoutrements. Usually, there's an accordion, a balalaika and at least one exuberant Russian (oftentimes more) singing "Kalinka," the upbeat Russian folk song that has been appropriated by everyone from the Chelsea Football Club to the German pop group Yamboo to Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2.
To make it even more fun, vodka in Russia is not just vodka. There are literally thousands of flavors. Sophisticated gourmands consider it a point of honor to try flavors beginning with all 33 letters of the Russian alphabet -- acorn, blackberry, caraway seed, dill, etc. -- and bottled in all manner of shaped glass -- guns, swords, crowns, statues of Stalin, etc.
And then, when you're properly sloshed, as we were in Mandrogi, a fairytale wooden village on the northern banks of Lake Ladoga where we enjoyed an exquisite four- or five-course feast, you stumble over to a Vodka Museum, one of several in Russia, and pay homage to the beverage Catherine the Great reserved for the exclusive production of the aristocracy. Whether there's really a stuffed bear at the entrance wearing an apron and holding a tray, that's probably more than I can rightfully claim. I am a journalist, after all, and wouldn't want to spread any blurry facts.
A 15-day package on Scenic Tours sleek, luxury-laden Scenic Tsar includes four nights in both Moscow and St. Petersburg and all (well, nearly all) the bottles of vodka you can drink.
For more information visit scenictours.com or call 866-689-8611.
Pam Grout is the author of E-Squared, 9 Do-it-Yourself Energy Experiments that Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality. Find out more at www.pamgrout.com.
For more by Pam Grout, click here.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.