Mood has a lot to do with being in the zone and how motivated you are. The last few months have been particularly emotionally traumatic for me in such a way that it has often been difficult to cope and prioritize. I have constantly doubted my abilities and fallen for the lies the devil inside my head, who I've deservingly named something The Huffington Post probably won't let me print, has been telling me. In this downfall I've given up on going out, well moving in general, eating, running or listening to anything, whether it be on TV or on the radio, because I felt there was too much to process in my head already. I routinely have nightmares while asleep, wake up to anxiety, and try to go on with my day.
Though I feel pain and loss, I have to come to a point where I have to do something that will motivate me and perhaps shed some light on all this mess, that I know everyone at some time or another has to deal with. I've decided to work on some running challenges with anyone who will join me. A friend of mine, who I suspect might be doing this more for me, has asked me to join her for a 10K. This is her first event and we haven't exactly narrowed down which one to participate in. Like any event, especially since I have not been running for a while, it'll take time and determination. We'll have to work around the weather, which oh God, is frigid in New York right now, and keep each other motivated. I also want to run the Brooklyn half in May, and perhaps a half in Pennsylvania in March, which a friend wants me to do. This sounds like a lot right now, but it's helping me function. Trying to focus on making myself happy, which includes running and staying positive will be hard, and I know you all have been through this. Does anyone know of a good 10K in which we could start training for now? I'd love any suggestions.
Ahead I'll have to come up with a weather proof training schedule that doesn't revolve around a treadmill and figure out a nutritional plan that isn't too overwhelming. A woman standing next to me at one of my races, while we were waiting for our corral to be released once looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Everything is going to be okay, I'm going to have a happy high in a minute." Looking back, I always thought that was a strange thing for her to tell a stranger, but now I'm living by her statement.