Sex can get lost in the first Black Friday of the holiday season. The holidays can become all about this stressful rush to get to grandma's house and buy those grab bag gifts for the office. You get the idea. The holidays, which are meant to be about connection, can often be filled with disconnection, especially erotically. But, the holidays can also be a time to sex up your life if you decide to make it that. Take a clue from the mistletoe and all those fabulous fiery lights on the menorah. How about creating your own 8 or 12 crazy nights?
My plan for sexing up your holiday is all about "The Erotic Equation" which is Obstacles + Prohibition + Yearning and Anticipation = Hot desire and erotic experiences.
Rules of the Game:
There will be no sexual climaxes (orgasm) until the night that last candle is lit or that last package is opened under the tree. Period. This rule is very important to this game which is all about the four corners of erotic build. Remember waiting for Santa to come? Or finally lighting that candle and getting your gift. You had to wait!
1. Develop your own themed sexting app! Perhaps it's a daily picture of a sex toy that you are buying to give your partner, a daily picture of your bottom, or even a picture of a new sexual position that you want to try. Give it a name, like the #DailyLust or #12NaughtyPromises. Be creative about it! Include enticing messages to build anticipation for that final night.
2. Go to a sex toy store together then explore separately. Each of you fill your basket with toys, books or videos that you are curious about. Meet back up and look in each others basket of goodies, one at a time, with no peeking at what your partner is doing. Buy three things from their basket of desire that you are willing to experiment with. You should each be going home with three goodies to be shared on the final day.
3. Write down all your sexy thoughts and fantasies on colorful notes or sexy cards. You can play this game two ways. You can either make it like an Easter egg hunt or leave the notes and cards in places that you know each other will find them. Go on and be very, very naughty. Leave the notes and cards somewhere that each of you will find them.
4. Entice each other with sexy oral finger play. You can play this in many ways and both partners can play. Put his or her finger slowly in your mouth and make sure to keep eye contact while your tongue and mouth tease the finger. You can also put your own finger into your partners mouth. Allow yourself to express your desire and fire through your eyes. Experiment with finger-licking. Try slow and sensuous, as well as hard and rough. You can set a timer and do this for five or ten minutes and I promise you will want to tear off each other's clothing off!
5. Leave gifts of special lingerie for him or her around the bedroom with notes that say "Wait until (insert appropriate holiday)."
6. Read and talk about giving each other a "sexcation." It could be a weekend workshop or a private retreat. Did you know that couples have the best sex when they go somewhere new together? Being in a completely new environment can really shake up your sexuality and allow you to experiment with the erotic in ways that you may not normally do at home. Search the internet, ask friends for recommendations or contact a sex educator for finding the right "sexcation" for you. Use the opportunity to talk about and experiment with secret fantasies. This is an "out of your comfort zone" experience and might even feel "dangerous." Perfect. Feeling a little uncomfortable is what we all need for that amazing sexual adventure!
7. Read steamy erotica to each other while stroking and groping each other through your clothing. Get really turned on and then stop. Feel the heat of desire. Moan with it.
8. Eat sexy in front of each other. Lick ice and lollipops. Suck on ripe fruit. Be suggestive and outrageous. Try doing this in public at holiday parties or while dining out.
9. Take a steamy shower or bath together. Buy luxury soaps and bring in scrubby toys. Make it an event. Turn on the music and turn off the world. Take turns washing each other all over. Be as daring as you want. Experiment. Skin loves to be touched. Allow yourselves to make noise. A little moaning is very acceptable!
10. Create a sexy photo album to give your partner as a part of gift of the last night. Check out local boudoir photographers and take some steamy shots -- or you can do it yourself. Everyone has a "selfie" camera. Have the photos developed and published into a book. This is so easy to do as there are so many online print-on-demand services. You will get hot creating this and gifting it to each other. Another option is to book a "couple's boudoir photo shoot". Talk about sexy anticipation and holiday naughtiness. Play!
11. Talk about sex. Take the time to tell each other the times in the past where you have really turned each other on. Your partner may be surprised that it was a little thing or gesture that got you turned on. Boost each others egos up! Let each other know how they can melt you. Re-tell sexual experiences to each other, about each other. When you actually tell your partner what is working for you, you will inspire more creative thinking, because they will have something to work with!
12. That final night! Plan to create time together for that big finale when all of your anticipation and desire is welcome. Open the gifts during a time when you can actually use them. (This may mean postponing your pleasure a little longer... but that is fine!) More anticipation is never a bad thing when it comes to sexual desire and pleasure. Do this final night your way! Bring in all of the things that you created and purchased. Look at the picture album together. Read aloud the notes that you left for each other. Take out the new toys. Talk about them. Present the "sexcation." Savor it all. Or have it rough and tough. This final night is all yours to enjoy.You are allowed to explode now! Create the time for your pleasure. Be greedy. After all, it's the holidays -- it's the perfect time to indulge in each other.
Earlier on Huff/Post50: