How Not To Name The Baby: Top Ten Baby-Naming Mistakes

Most parents today work hard to find the perfect name for their baby. But still, it's all too easy to fall into one of the top baby-naming traps. Here, the ten biggest mistakes we encounter talking to the parents who visit nameberry.

1. BYPASSING A NAME YOU LOVE JUST BECAUSE A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER DOESN'T LIKE IT. You'll soon find that everyone wants to get into the naming act with suggestions and (often negative) opinions, but you'll regret walking away from one of your favorites because someone else tries to convince you it's not attractive or stylish.

2. REJECTING A NAME YOU LOVE BECAUSE IT'S TOO HIGH ON THE NATIONAL POPULARITY LIST. Many parents today are obsessed with tracking names on the Social Security most popular list, discarding those they fear are getting overexposed. But truly loving a name is a more important factor in being content with your choice than its standing on any list.

3. BEING TOO CONCERNED WITH A NAME'S LITERAL MEANING. So what if it means "graceful" in Old German if it's clunky in Modern American?

4. NAMING YOUR CHILD AFTER A CAR OR A PERFUME OR A PUBLICATION. Naming a baby Porsche or Chanel or, yes, Huffington may be taking the idea of branding far too far.

5. BOWING TO FAMILY PRESSURE TO CHOOSE A TRADITIONAL NAME. A family favorite or a name that reflects your ethnic or religious heritage can be a wonderful gift to pass on to you child, providing it's YOUR choice and not your mother-in-law's.

6. NOT TALKING THROUGH THE NAME DECISION WITH A SPOUSE. Too often, couples get locked in battle over their name favorites rather than talking through the reasons they like the names they do-which would almost certainly lead them to a choice they can agree on.

7. BELIEVING A NAME IS UNUSUAL JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER HEARD IT BEFORE. Trends change quickly and many names that were virtually unheard of by today's first-time parents-Jaden, Savannah, Kylie-are epidemic among children.

8. CHOOSING A NAME WITH A DIFFICULT SPELLING OR PRONUNCIATION. Spelling Riley Rylea or varying Aidan to Aedyn might seem creative to you, but it's sure to make life more complicated for your child.

9. THINKING YOU CAN CONTROL NICKNAMING. You may insist on Jacob, but the world is likely to insist on Jake- and the world is much bigger than you are.

10. NAMING A BABY, NOT THE CHILD OR ADULT HE OR SHE WILL BECOME. A diminutive like Jojo or an endearment like Precious might be cute for an infant or toddler, but it's better to choose a name that will serve your child on the more formal occasions of his or her future.

Comments

[kareemachan]

My husband and I had the best time coming up with names before our child was born, but only for entertainment purposes. Someone would ask us what names we were thinking of and turn absolutely white when we told them our latest creation. Some of our favorites:

Chomondeleigh Featherstonehaugh St. John (if you know Brit names, this is pronounced "Chumley Fanshaw Sinjin")

Rotifer Stentor (both algae species names - I'm a biologist)

Mizithra Brie (both cheeses)

But when our kid was born, we went traditional. And she's thanked us ever since!

[freeenterprisechic]

Cheryl Mikela - I always felt that if it would look good on a Doctor's or Lawyer's nameplate, it would be okay. Also opted for more formal than not thinking nicknames could be used if needed.

[RicardoMalocchio]

I suspect that most people who have named their child "Porsche" are not thinking of the car. Then again, there was that article this week lamenting the paucity of students pursuing a liberal arts degree.

Seems to suggest a rule, but I'm not sure whether a pro or con one. Should one *not* name their child after well-loved literary characters, mythological figures and the like if those names have since been used to brand cars, sneakers, and other consumables? That is, do we avoid a name that might only have certain, rather crass connotations among the ignorant?

[Artfullyaware]

Um...are you thinking of Portia? Just asking...

[Weirdwriter]

I have friends who had the best rule for picking names for their kids I've heard yet.

If it don't swing with "President" or "Doctor" in front of it -- drop it..

[seppoyank]

True names my mom has seen in her years as a teacher:

Brain (meant to be "Brian" but mispelled on the birth certificate--the horrible irony being that Brain was in a self-contained learning disabilities class)

Lemonjello (pronounced leh-manj-ello)

Pajama (pronounced pa-sha-ma)

[IndyReader]

I don't believe #9. I have a friend who named her child "Richard", for instance. Mom and dad call him Richard, he introduces himself as Richard. If someone calls him Rick or Richie, they are corrected. So there's no reason why a child can't be called his true name throughout his life if that's the way he wants it.

[Hollywooddeed]

And correcting people throughout his life sounds like a real drag.

[Glencora]

But it doesn't last that long. A relative of mine was "Benji" as a child, but decided as he got older that he wanted to be known as "Ben." It took all of us about a month or so to adjust, and now he is Ben. People will usually call you by the name they are introduced to you as, so it simply isn't a problem. Nicknames are usually only used for kids, anyway, unless the person uses it for their self.

[LMPE]

You'll never get me to give my child(ren) a wacky name. I understand that "normal" names may sound "boring", but I will not subject my child(ren) to a life of getting heckled.

[medicontheedge]

i met a young black mom who told me she named her second child kevin michael, after naming her first son, born while she was very young, a "typical" weird, "black" male name.

she said she wanted to make sure her second son had a "non-thug" name.

interesting.

[larry278]

Adults who got stuck with a name as a baby that they don't like often pick another name. That name sticks. The name you gave to your baby goes into the diaper pail, aka $hit can in the US Navy. Life is like that.

[allthings]

Names are very cultural. I recently learned that my name Michael was virtually non-existent outside Catholic families until 50 years ago, but when I was born was the number one or number two boys name.

Names appear to more poetical these days and less interested in gender-communication.

Parents may obsess about boys wearing blue and girls having flowered wall paper but there are certainly a lot of girls with completely genderless names or boys with names that are spelled differently that even 10 years ago and are frequently not "strong masculine names."

And let it be said that many maybe even most African American families appear to be following certain rules about child naming that are not the norm for other communities producing an orgy of mispronunciation.

My own personal feeling is that I don't judge people based on having a certain name after several times meeting them, so I think naming your child something very unusual and optmistic like "Star" or "Delysihias" really is not going to produce self worth anymore than John or Mary. Read to your kid, volunteer with them, hug them, take them to church (if that is your thing), make them do their homework and say please and thank you. That will get them far.

[Freesia2]

Names are important. I think it's the first indicator of good parenting. I'm prejudiced though - I hate my name. Detest it. Once I asked my mother "Why? For the love of everything holy whyyyyyy?" and she blithely told me that "I thought it would look cute on the back of a cheerleading sweater". *crickets* (And for the record I was a cheerleader one time, in 3rd grade, for peewee basketball. And I have been stuck with it for over 40 years non cheerleading years.)

I think it's a big decision for parents. You can't control the nose or if they get Grandma's ugly feet, but you can do something about that name. And it's subjective, what's a good name or a bad name. I've never been partial to suffixes and prefixes which result in LaNames and Name-ettes. I think you should be able to pronounce the names. So often today parents string together a whole bunch of things resulting in Natishabethanne Mariejaqueline. I feel sorry for their teachers during roll call.

I heard about one man with too many children who got tired of coming up with names. He named baby girl #10 "Female" pronuounce fem-a'-lee. But I suspect that's an urban myth. :-)

[bunnylogic]

oh go on tell us your name!