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Pat Gallagher

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Is Cosmetic Plastic Surgery Really Necessary? Almost Never.

Posted: 02/29/2012 3:24 pm

I have thin lips. Putting lipstick on me is like putting lipstick on a goat. I don't enjoy having goat lips. I'd like to have full lips, but somehow in the womb, my DNA blueprint read: thin lips, skinny legs, small blue eyes, red hair, Jimmy Durante nose (although I'm almost positive he wasn't my daddy), really small boobs, straight teeth, toe fungus later in life.

I was never happy that I had to wear a training bra until I was in my early 20s (when I progressed to an A cup), and I didn't grow into my nose until I developed jowls. By the time my boobs were full (because they plump up after menopause, but I'm not sure scientists have discovered exactly why), I was a grown-up with a rubber tummy and Joan Crawford shoulders (she wore shoulder pads, mine are just broad bones covered with clown muscles that came out of nowhere after I turned 50).

The bottom line is I could use some work, but I don't like knives, I hate needles, and I don't want someone to inject Jell-O into my lips. I'm not ugly, and I'm not a beauty. I don't have Angelina Jolie's face with those beautiful full lips or that fairly attractive skinny right leg; I don't have Jennifer Aniston's gorgeous legs and arms and flat stomach but I don't want Brad Pitt so I'm good.

If I got a face lift and had liposuction, I would look like someone who had a bad experience in the barn yard. It would go bad, I just know it. I've seen bad plastic surgery and the "after" is much worse than the "before." If it could go wrong, it would go wrong on me. I just have that kind of luck.

I can't even stand it that girls/women in their 20's, 30's and 40's are getting cosmetic plastic surgery and Botox injections these days. There's no reasonable explanation. Really. Yes, I get breast enhancements, but the rest of the body doesn't need to be tweaked, twisted and tampered with. People who get cosmetic plastic surgery are looking for perfection. Nobody's perfect.

If it were legal to run around in public naked, trust me, nobody would.

Post surgery, you may feel better for 20 minutes, but once the novelty wears off, there's an old saying: "Wherever you go, there you are." Your body may seem new, but your "troubles" will follow you no matter where you go. If your boss is a jackass, he won't perk up after you return to the office with enhancements. You'll still want to let the air out of his tires.

Life is still going to be filled with jerks. And jerks hate perfect bodies so they'll mistreat you and find ways to make you feel bad about your beautiful self by messing with your mind.

There's always going to be someone prettier than you are. Always. Who is the most beautiful woman alive? Jennifer Lopez... according to People magazine, and don't they pretty much have a lock on knowing who's beautiful? And who has a chance of dating her? Not your man. One day she'll be old, and there will be another Most Beautiful Woman Alive. And who will have a chance of dating her? Not your man.

"Beauty is in the mind of the beholder,"... another great saying. My husband, Buffoon, doesn't think Angelina Jolie is beautiful. He needs glasses, but so what? I'm not saying he thinks I'm a knock-out, but he did marry me back in the day when I looked fairly attractive. He does find other women very attractive. Believe me, I'm totally insecure about the woman who lives in my neighborhood who is 20 years younger, prettier, flirts with Buff (which makes him feel good about himself even though he has a spare tire around his waist and chest), and she bakes, but if I go under the knife, that won't make her less pretty and won't make me 20 years younger. He'll still know how old I am, and I'll still hate her for looking so good and wearing those short shorts so tight they could strangle a gecko (and I hate her cookies). There are hundreds of nice-looking women that are floating around every neighborhood in this country, and if I succumb to the knife to compete, there will still be women out there who make me look like Marge Simpson.

And if he leaves me one day for someone younger and prettier with the intention of having really good sex, then he'll find out real fast that she's shallow and is probably a screamer.

I could name off a few celebrities who have had bad experiences with plastic surgery, but I don't want to hurt their feelings. They know. It makes me sad for them. If they have a happy family life, then that's what counts. Looks are fleeting no matter who you are, so remember: The important people in your life are those who love you unconditionally.

We all have mirrors. When we look in the mirror, who do we see? We see who we are. How other people see us, is irrelevant.

 
 
 
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02:48 PM on 03/07/2012
Pat, thanks for your article. While I agree with some of the other posters, I appreciate your point of view and it's a very valid one.
02:55 AM on 03/04/2012
Other than reconstructive, it all boils down to ... insecurities. Kind of sad. Kudos to you Pat, You & my Wife shoulds have a glass of wine while Me & Buff take our spare tires to the pool, have a cold beer, and flirt with the young girl's...LOL.
05:51 PM on 03/01/2012
Not everyone who has cosmetic plastic surgery is looking for perfection. I work in a busy plastic surgery practice, and I can say with certainty that we have very few patients who are obsessed with cosmetic procedures - the majority are totally normal individuals who have one or two insecurities that they want to address. They're not seeking perfection, but rather they want to feel better about things that have been bothering them for a long time - - extremely small breasts, crow's feet, tummy bulge that won't go away even with diet and exercise. Most patients have one procedure and that's it! Like it or not, what other people see when they look at us is never, ever going to be "irrelevant." It's all about first impressions, and in our society, how we look plays a role in the kind of jobs we get, the people we become friends with, and who we become romantic with. Absolutely, it's more important to feel confident about who you are inside, and as a person, but every person deserves to feel confident about their exterior, too.
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John Di Saia
An Opinionated Plastic Surgeon in the OC
06:59 PM on 02/29/2012
While you have the right to your opinion much of it is based in ignorance. Cosmetic plastic surgery patients are not all seeking perfection. Mine aren't. They just want improvement. Not all women are in an "OC Housewives" competition for beauty. Many patients seek reasonable improvements and get them not to become some caricature of a television plastic surgery addict. Most of my patients have one operation and do not become "frequent flyers." Plastic surgery practices vary just as much as the patients.

I have been practicing plastic surgery for nearly 15 years and the patients you describe are not in mine. The only thing that you write that rings true to me is that you shouldn't have plastic surgery. That's because you don't want it. And that is fine. :)

I do thank you for providing a topic for my blog post for tomorrow however and hold you no ill will. We just come from different perspectives.
07:27 PM on 02/29/2012
Pat scored a perfect 10 with this one.
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Balzac7
Green Protection
07:57 AM on 03/01/2012
There is a reason it is called "Plastic".....just saying.
04:23 PM on 02/29/2012
I don't agree that 'people who have plastic surgery' are 'looking for perfection'. They may simply be seeking relief from emotional distress based on discomfort with their looks. While all surgery carries risks of hazardous complications, it seems unfair to deny understanding to those who fervently wish to feel better about a particular -- real or imagined -- "flaw". The problem arises when a patient is never satisfied, such as the repeat patient who goes too far, or the type who, in the initial consultation, cannot specify which changes he or she would like to see in the mirror post-surgery, but simply expresses a desire to be "made over". However, I fully agree that 'how others see us is irrelevant' if we want to be at peace with ourselves. If this topic interests you, please search for comedian Margaret Cho's very wise and poignant essay, 'You Are Not Ugly, So Don't Make Those "Am I Ugly?" Videos'. Finally, the question of marital fidelity in the face of temptations is slightly relevant here, in the sense that making yourself feel and look better can be one way to compete, but faithfulness is basically a matter of morality. If a partner wants you to feel secure, he already knows what to do. A partner who makes you feel that the door to other options must always remain at least slightly ajar is not a good bet if you don't want your trust to be abused.