Did you notice how subtly, how adroitly, the powers that be have already jumped the line into the avian flu lifeboats?
The belated Bush policy on the potential pandemic acknowledges how scarce the meds to treat it already are. The government has only 4.3 million doses stockpiled, enough for slightly more than one American in a hundred. And who do you suppose that one would be?
You get 98.5 guesses.
There, in the nearly 400-page federal plan to deal with the upheaval of a pandemic, is the hardline reality of triage: who gets the meds? This is who: Frontline medical and health care pros, vaccine plant workers, pregnant women and the ailing elderly -- all deservedly -- and, ahem, government leaders and decision makers.
Now, who would they be?
When one-third of all Americans could get the avian flu, and maybe two million of those could die, I’m not expecting ‘’women and children first’’ conduct from the movers and shakers. Don’t forget the recent New York Daily News story, that a tipoff about the threat to the city subways was passed along to the city’s rich and powerful, three days before the news was made public, allowing them to alert their own circle to the danger. I don’t expect there are many subway riders among the millionaires and the mighty, but of course there was a ‘’need to know’’ basis: think of the devastation and havoc if their subway-riding nannies and doormen had gone boom.
One of the innumerable scenes of creepy hilarity in ‘’Dr. Strangelove’’ is the moment when the good doctor proposes repopulating post-nuclear America from mineshafts deep in the earth, shafts equipped with food, supplies, and fertile women outnumbering men ten to one. It would be ``absolutely vital,’’ he says, ``that our top government and military men be included’’ in the ranks of the mineshaft men. Once the avian flu gets to these shores, the office-holding hallelujah creationists will suddenly turn into ardent Darwinians. It could be worse, I guess -- it’s only Tamiflu in short supply, not Viagra.
At the first achoo of avian flu, it’ll get ugly, fast. Expect war to the knife over who qualifies as a leader and decision-maker and therefore gets the pills. The Plum Book will be pitted against the Blue Book. The GS ratings battle will rage -- 15 and above get meds, 14 and below can just take two aspirin and clean out their desks.
Isn’t this fun? And you in the home audience can play along.
Cheney, who actually makes decisions, gets meds, but Bush, merely the front-man, doesn’t.
Rove does, but Laura doesn’t.
Bill Frist, but not Tom DeLay. Barney Frank, but not James Dobson. Hillary, but not Bill. Scott McClellan, but not … me.
I think I feel a little sniffle coming on …