Solo-ier Than Thou in the Carpool Lane

Oh my Prius, you're so speedy,
And of gas so seldom needy.
There's one more perk from you I gain:
I drive alone in the carpool lane.

I bought you not for solo spins,
But just to save myself some fins.
[That's Runyon-speak for cash, dough, bucks --
'Coz otherwise I'd get a truck.]

My Prius sucks at towing boats
Or any style of Rose Bowl floats.
Yet gets me from A to Zed
With very few CCs unlead.

It took a while, but now I'm proud
To drive a car that brags out loud,
A car that's earned the right to crow --
A car that says, ''I told you so.''

Alas, the world's a jealous place,
My Prius, so your funny face
Got egged three times in sheer, mean spite
By Humvee hooligans at night.

How sweet it is to swiftly pass
Those places where they sell the gas.
Just like the war, the price has soared --
You gotta ask? You can't afford.

Okay, there's one more reason that
I bought this car [and not more hats]:
My Prius lets me thumb my schnozz
At ``Oil Boy'' Bush, the Prez of Oz.

If great MPGs weren't enough
To make my car a powder-puff,
The law was changed and I can be
A single in the HOV.

My hybrid privilege I assert
To breeze right past a SigAlert.
Paid eight bucks to the DMV
To get a drive that's hassle-free.

They sent me stickers big and bright
[I really think they glow at night] --
Yellow as a school bus rig
And almost -- I swear -- half as big.

Some owners more refined than I
Said they would rather choke and die
Than use those decals -- so defacing:
Why, one might think they're NASCAR racing!

I do not mind -- they're self-defense.
If other drivers take offense
To see me seule in the HOV,
They'll know they shouldn't shoot at me.

I think those ugly yellow things
Are second-best to growing wings.
It truly is legerdemain
To solo in the diamond lane.

The hybrid car may help the globe
And savvy up our frontal lobe.
So I live for the day I am
Stuck in a hybrid traffic jam.