[My mother's table in Philadelphia. The group consists of family and friends from Philadelphia, New York, and Washington, D.C. About half of us are in our forties and fifties; the others, in their seventies and eighties. Four children, eight years-old to thirteen years-old. That's all you need to know.]
--Washington? It's very exciting. The Democrats are moving into the best offices with their Armanis and fancy pearls. And the Republicans are going into the basement.
--See this camera. I went to Africa and I took sixteen hundred pictures with it.
--Barack Obama is Jewish?
--There's a rumor going around that his mother's half-Jewish.
--There are a lot of Jews in Kansas...but not Barack Obama's mother.
--That's why he'll never get elected. They'll never elect a Jew.
--I'd vote for him.
--We all would. That's not the point.
--He watched what happened to Harold Ford very carefully. That's what they'd do to him.
--The country's not ready for a black [president]. Or a woman.
--The country's ready for a woman. The country's not ready for Hillary.
--I like both of them [Hillary and Bill] but maybe they should go away for a while.
--You should try the cranberry sauce. It's the only thing I made beside the mushroom. Everything else I bought.
--My sister knows everything about mashed potatoes. No. I mean she likes them so much she's compulsive. She's over-obsessed. [Overheard at the children's table]
--What about that guy in the South? [Warner] He's got name recognition. What's his name?
--I never worry about name recognition because it doesn't take long to learn someone's name.
--It was the first time I've been happy about prejudice. [re: Allen and macaca]
--Do you think the other end of the table is having a better time than we're having?
--Tell them about your friend buying a $25,000 Birkin [bag] for his wife.
--$25,000? I'll tell you what costs $25,000? Nancy Pelosi's pearls. They're gorgeous and she can wear them anywhere.
--Biden's not smart.
--Biden's one of the smartest in the Senate. He was the youngest person ever elected senator.
--Well, he wasn't smart in law school.
--Edwards is not smart but he's not so dumb and he has a smart wife, if she lives.
--They're making the kids go to basketball practice at 8:30 tomorrow morning. I called the coach and said we can't make it and he said he wouldn't hold it against us.
--But your kid won't be a starter.
--Do you even know what sexual harassment is? [Overheard at the children's table]
--Yeah. It's when two people have sex in the same genre.
--No!
--Is it when someone wants to have sex and the other person doesn't want to?
--No! That's called rape! R-A-P-E!
--I bet Kerry's not good at telling a joke.
--We have this kind of pepper grinder at home. It's my favorite kind of pepper grinder.
--Our side of the table has exhausted all our conversation, so the other side has to talk loudly.
--What kind of an animal is Pogo?
--A possum.
--How did they get cute Pogo out of that ugly thing?
--I want to take a picture of the photographer taking a picture
--In Japan, they have fake braces for kids with perfect teeth because it looks cool.
--That David Brooks I won't read. I only read people I agree with.
--He always looks so stupefied on TV when David Gergen explains the simplest thing to him.
--He looks like someone I don't like but I can't remember who it is.
--Mom, which kind of pie do I like?
--Angelie Jolie and what's his name...Tom Cruise.
--Not Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise is gay.
--Tom Cruise is gay?!
--How long do you think that marriage will last?
--She got the ace in the hole: his money.
--I can't believe Tom Cruise is gay. Thank you for telling me. I'm the first to know.
--You're the last to know
--I figured something out about Colin Powell. He's an army man. He does what he told to do even if he doesn't agree.
--He's the most immoral of all of them because he knew they were wrong. He could have made a difference.
--I disagree. He would not have gone to the UN Council and said what he said unless he believed it.
--You're wrong.
--You can't just take a bite of the chocolate and throw it back in the candy bowl. [Said to a nine year-old.]
--I didn't eat it. I just took a bite.
--Frist? An abomination!
--A few weeks ago, whenever we'd talk about politics, you'd feel sort of despondent and now you feel despondent and hopeful.
--Isn't it so much more fun to talk about politics now?
--Let me take a picture of you in that hat.