The First Hour of the Golden Globes: Commentary by My Mother

--He's Bob Hoskins. He doesn't look like Bob Hoskins.
--I have George Clooney, Robert Downey, and the third one all mixed up. It's one person.
--There's Queen Lafitah. She's pretty.
--Tell me who they are.
--That's who'll win.
--That's what I just said, didn't I?
--Terrible dress. And the color!
--That might be okay on a blonde.
--Why do they have to have those beards? They're not pretty.
--She looks thinner. Better, too.
--She's pretty.
--She'll get it for old times' sake.
--The fluster's a big act.
--This is very boring.
--She's pregnant (I hope). She has the lowest bosom ever.
--The teeth are all done -- that's the first thing you notice.
--Someone you know knows her. You know who I mean?
--That's a popular program. I never saw it.
--She's too big to be pretty. She always has a terrible dress on. She's smart; she has a high IQ -- and she tells everyone.
--She looks like a monkey.
--She's another one with a big bust.
--Who is he? He's awful.
--Look at her chin. It's so big.
--She was pregnant and someone left her for...Oh, wait. Someone like Scarlett Johanson. I was surprised whoever she was would go with him after he did that to someone. Such bad manners.
--Do you want to watch Qwyneth Paltrow in a white organza dress?