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Patricia O'Connor

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Afghan Women: Has Anything Really Changed?

Posted: 08/05/10 11:22 AM ET

Over the weekend an article titled "Afghan Women Fear Loss of Modest Gains" appeared in the New York Times. The writer, Alissa J. Rubin, repeated a theme that has been popping up all over the media these days: That while we have made progress, albeit tentative, if the U.S. pulls out of Afghanistan, we will condemn the Afghan women to a dark and terrifying fate.

The Times' article, like others, highlighted that there is no doubt that the Taliban threat is real and constant. While it is true that they have hindered progress, and created an environment of fear, instability and violence, that is not the entire picture.

In the aftermath of 9/11 there were numerous articles about the daily horrors of how life was for Afghan women and how they lived in constant terror. But we also learned that even during the darkest days of the Taliban, women operated salons in back rooms, which provided them with an income and a place where they could gather, let their hair down and just be girls.

So I was shocked to read theTimes' article and learn that its symbol of the "progress" that has been made is a beauty salon/school that isn't much different than what was there nine years ago. Back then, the beauty salons were equipped with very few tools of the trade and provided limited training. As any hairdresser worth her salt will tell you, giving someone a few products and showing them how to cut split ends against a dingy and depressing backdrop does not a hairdresser make...

Their greatest fear then was, as is now, as the recent Times' article recognizes, "No one seems to be listening to them."

Almost nine years ago we set out to change that -- and for a brief moment we did.

Inspired by the plight of Afghan women, I, along with a friend, Terri Grauel, decided to create "The Beauty School of Kabul."

2010-08-05-kabul.jpg


Once the idea was in motion, we decided that we wanted to develop a school that was on par with anything in the West. A school where the women could benefit from all our years of learning, a "modern" place where they could obtain a real professional education -- not some backroom, hole-in-the-wall with a few tools and products. What we built amid the rubble of Kabul was an oasis in the middle of hell.

At first the women were closed off, suffering from low self-esteem, and probably depression. Laughter was rare, and in the early days we worried that we had set the bar too high. Slowly but surely many of the students began to grasp the concepts we were teaching, and they would help teach the other students. With each breakthrough you could taste the joy in the air, and the invisible barriers that made the women seem like strangers to us began to fade.

One day a student asked me how long women in the West had been free and independent. I told her a 100 years or so, but real changes had only happened in the last fifty years. She was shocked. As she revealed this to her classmates, the room became alive with excited chatter. Knowing that Western women had achieved this in such little time, and not over 500+ years as they had thought, gave them hope that they too could be free and independent.

2010-08-05-beautyschoolkabul.jpg


During that time, Kabul was chock-a-block with white jeeps ferrying key personal around town from USAID, UNDP, UNIFEM and other government-funded organizations as they set about to implement programs to give Afghan -- and especially Afghan women -- a shot at a better future.

Our program ran on fumes and a vision. But we challenge anyone who was in Kabul at that time to name any NGO or UN-funded offshoot that came close in terms of delivering a first-world professional education in a modern environment.

The night the women graduated we threw them a party. Some would say it was reckless, as we were completely broke. But anyone who witnessed their excitement and joy in the days leading up to the party, as they discussed what they were going to wear and who was coming, would lack humanity to deny these brave women the chance to show of their accomplishments.

That evening we watched as men and women from different families laughed and talked together -- a mingling of the sexes, something I was told could never happen in Afghanistan. As the graduation came to a close the men -- husbands, fathers and grandfathers -- thanked us for helping their families. Because of us their wives, daughters or granddaughters were earning money, putting food on the table and helping them survive.

So what has really changed since then? Sadly, it seems not much. Here we are nine years later, countless lives lost, a trillion dollars spent and what do we have to show for it?

The Times' article quotes an Afghan woman named Habiba Shamim, one of the beauty school instructors.

"Please," she pleaded. "Carry our words to people."

So, Secretary Clinton, are you really listening?

If you really want to improve the plight of Afghan women, perhaps you should start with taking a long hard look at the decision makers and purse-string holders at the UN, its offshoot organizations, USAID, and various US government oversight committees who have received billions of taxpayer dollars.

While there are numerous front-line people at these organizations who are dedicated and committed to solving a multitude of problems around the world, it seems that for our investment, particularly in regard to Afghan women, we have barely moved the needle.

For a brief and fleeting post-9/11 moment, all of us living in the West thought that we could make it right. Unfortunately, for Afghan women, it didn't happen. But heck, you already knew that.

 
 
 
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11:10 AM on 08/12/2010
This article serves as a wonderful reminder, that no matter one's politics, religion or culture, there are brave compassionate souls out there that move beyond the rhetoric, and reach out with a lifeline of hope. No matter how fleeting, Trish changed a moment in time and will never be forgotten by those Afghan women. Keep writing!
02:54 PM on 08/11/2010
War is bad for life.
05:32 PM on 08/10/2010
Insightful and very compellingly written. Underscores why more needs to be done. This is exactly the kind of piece that makes me come back to HP. Thanks!
11:11 AM on 08/10/2010
Yours is the voice that the women of Afghan need -- and more of it! The fact is that no real progress has really been made for these women and in fact, they've become pawns. Your beauty school gave a rare glimpse into what could be... Thank you for shedding light on an an issue of profound importance. Wendy Bednarz
03:49 PM on 08/09/2010
As one of the teachers working with Patricia and Terri in Kabul at the beauty school I applaud Patricia for her courage to speak the truth.
Our plan was to spring board off the beauty school to a training salon where the women would learn how to run their own salons in real time.
We wanted to empower the Afghan women to own their salons by providing them with financial opportunities through funding with local and international micro loans.
I returned to America to raise money and knocked on every door. People loved the story, seemed enthusiastic but no one opened their purse.
People with millions of dollars at their disposal rather "sit around and have a chat" than do something that would save lives and truly make a difference in the world.
I still to this day do not understand why a successful program such as Beauty Without Borders did not deserve funding to continue.
I think about the women and their families. I honor their resilience, strength, courage,humility and beauty which inspires me daily. I will continue to fight for the women and children of Afghanistan--for their independence and right to have the freedoms we often take for granted--I will never forget you.
Sheila Mc Gurk
Founder/Circe
Teacher /Beauty Without Borders
11:32 AM on 08/06/2010
With violence on the rise, Afghan women are terrified at the prospect of a deal between President Karzai and the Taliban...this article is beyond relevant at this time. Many thanks for sharing your first hand experience with such brave women and for writing it!!
10:26 AM on 08/06/2010
Thank you so much for sharing these details of your personal experiences; they really help make the revelation of what these women are living with that much more jarring and profound. The lack of progress is infuriating; hopefully your perspective will make some inroads in opening the eyes of people who can help.
09:35 AM on 08/06/2010
A very thoughtful article on a very difficult subject. One would hope that the agencies of our
government would at least try to do more micro investments such as the beauty school.
08:51 PM on 08/05/2010
Visiting beauty salons the summer after 911 that were newly reopened
after the Taliban fled was one of the most inspiring experiences of my
life. The determination and optimism that emanated from every woman I
met fueled my desire to do whatever I could at the time to help.
Their horrid stories chilled me to the bone ..... one of our students
spoke of how she witnessed a woman's fingers being chopped off by
Talibs for wearing nail polish. The same women showed up for class one
day, pulled off her Burka and was dressed in a t-shirt and tight
jeans.... the t-shirt read, "I'm too sexy for my jeans"
We witnessed Afghan women taking giant leaps forward. Through
education and exposure to western women they got a taste of
possibility and built core strength something that will be with them
always as programs and governments spiral down around them.
The women often told us that the most important and uplifting thing
for them was to know that people outside of Afghanistan were aware of
their existence.... it feels good for them to know they are not
forgotten.
03:55 PM on 08/05/2010
What an insightful piece! The work you are doing to bring stability to these women lives is just as important as the U.S. fighting terrorism in the region. This is truly an inspiring story and I hope you continue to shed more light on these important matters.
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03:29 PM on 08/05/2010
"If you really want to improve the plight of Afghan women, perhaps you should start with taking a long hard look at the decision makers and purse-string holders at the UN, its offshoot organizations, USAID, and various US government oversight committees who have received billions of taxpayer dollars"

You've touched a nerve here.. the UN is a corrupt, ineffective and anti-American institution and yet so many people of good will looking for justice continue to see at as our last best hope.... sad!!
02:41 PM on 08/05/2010
Great story. How is it possible that in 9 years there has been such little progress for women in Afghanistan? Shame on the NGOs and other institutions for not doing more to address their needs.
02:39 PM on 08/05/2010
Thank you for bringing such a horrific issue to light, Trish. The work you are doing to support women in Afghanistan is to be commended. Amazing insight!
12:09 PM on 08/05/2010
Thanks for this remarkable insight! And I do applaud your effort to help Habiba Shamim "carry her words to people."

Let's all speak up and see if we can't help move that needle for our Afghan sisters.
11:40 AM on 08/05/2010
What you are doing for these women will have reverberations through time and Afghan culture. KUDOS! What else can we do to help this cause?