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Patricia Rust

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Can a Compliment Ever Be an Insult?

Posted: 10/25/2011 1:01 pm

"Flattery will get you everywhere," or so the saying goes. I admit that flattery works on me! I am a sucker for a compliment. Tell me that my car is clean and I beam! So I'm not sure what to think when someone recently told me that I had "good posture." Does this mean that they couldn't find anything else to compliment me on: long lashes, hair, big eyes, nice figure or that I really do have good posture?

If I really do have good posture -- and I think I do -- then I am delighted that someone has the kind of consciousness that allows them to actually notice and/or comment on this. But my female insecurity got the better of me and I panicked that I didn't have anything else to compliment! The "complimentor" later told me that I moved like a dancer which made me feel better but the posture thing still had be worried.

I was on my way to lunch in Beverly Hills at the time. At The Villa Blanc, I happened to use the ladies room where this same discussion was in progress as though the women waiting in line had read my mind! A woman said that a 90-year-old man had hit on her and she didn't know whether to be insulted or flattered. I shared with her the wisdom of my father who said that it would be a sad day when no one noticed a woman. She said she thought Dad was right because that as she aged, she felt "more invisible." I suggested she head straight to the Bang & Olufsen store where she might be complimented on her posture or grace while experiencing the coolest electronic equipment in the universe.

She said that her friend Annette Benning was always looked at because she was Annette Benning. I think that's a lot of hooey because women in Europe are appreciated more as they grow older and in other cultures besides the United States, elders are revered for their wisdom and knowledge. The U.S., with their obsession with youth, really does itself a tremendous disservice but we are a young country and bound to make mistakes. The new India is young but it brings with it thousands of years of tradition and knowledge. Frankly, I get hit on more now than ever, good posture notwithstanding!

My lunch was with Dr. McCoy Moretz who is putting together a clinic of which he will be in charge with like-minded cosmetic surgeons who will help you evaluate your life, hormones, vitamins, with doctors, life coaches, healers and a plethora of people and techniques before you submit to going under the knife for all the right reasons. I know Dr. Moretz from an incredible mask he makes that is alive with yummy ingredients that even involve a shaman's blessings and wakes your skin up to resemble a teenager's! It's remarkable and is called Dr. Mac's Mask.

He brings to cosmetic surgery an entire new way of looking at things: Are you sure it's a change in your appearance you are looking for or will hormone replacement do the trick? Now that your children are grown, don't you think your eyes deserve a little refreshing? It may set a whole new industry standard and I hope it will. Gone will be the days when people will have surgery and it won't make them feel better. Surgeries will only be done when appropriate and integrating other disciplines make good sense. Especially when one loves compliments! And for those who don't have perfect posture, maybe shoulder pad implants are on the horizon since I hear shoulder pads (yuck!) are coming back! But I jest --

If you are a fan of Pedro Almodovar and even if you are not, do see "The Skin I Am In," which has a story which surprises at every turn. You cannot discuss the story without hinting at the eventual ending, so suffice it to say, it's a juicy one! You will be talking with your friends about this one for a long time and watching Antonio Banderas on the screen is more pleasurable than popcorn and makes me wonder why it ever became a trend to have to have ugly leading men when we could have handsome ones!

Banderas's star has never burned brighter because he is also starring in "Puss in Boots" in 3D and it doesn't get anymore swashbuckling than that for an actor! In my experience, actors love attention, but he seems more evolved than that. He is definitely comfortable in his skin! But I'll bet if someone told him he had good posture that he might puff up just a little bit!

Life! Isn't it wonderful?

Please be a darling and become my fan, my friend, or let me know you were here! Thank you!

 

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