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Patricia Rust

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Can a Compliment Ever Be an Insult?

Posted: 10/25/11 02:01 PM ET

"Flattery will get you everywhere," or so the saying goes. I admit that flattery works on me! I am a sucker for a compliment. Tell me that my car is clean and I beam! So I'm not sure what to think when someone recently told me that I had "good posture." Does this mean that they couldn't find anything else to compliment me on: long lashes, hair, big eyes, nice figure or that I really do have good posture?

If I really do have good posture -- and I think I do -- then I am delighted that someone has the kind of consciousness that allows them to actually notice and/or comment on this. But my female insecurity got the better of me and I panicked that I didn't have anything else to compliment! The "complimentor" later told me that I moved like a dancer which made me feel better but the posture thing still had be worried.

I was on my way to lunch in Beverly Hills at the time. At The Villa Blanc, I happened to use the ladies room where this same discussion was in progress as though the women waiting in line had read my mind! A woman said that a 90-year-old man had hit on her and she didn't know whether to be insulted or flattered. I shared with her the wisdom of my father who said that it would be a sad day when no one noticed a woman. She said she thought Dad was right because that as she aged, she felt "more invisible." I suggested she head straight to the Bang & Olufsen store where she might be complimented on her posture or grace while experiencing the coolest electronic equipment in the universe.

She said that her friend Annette Benning was always looked at because she was Annette Benning. I think that's a lot of hooey because women in Europe are appreciated more as they grow older and in other cultures besides the United States, elders are revered for their wisdom and knowledge. The U.S., with their obsession with youth, really does itself a tremendous disservice but we are a young country and bound to make mistakes. The new India is young but it brings with it thousands of years of tradition and knowledge. Frankly, I get hit on more now than ever, good posture notwithstanding!

My lunch was with Dr. McCoy Moretz who is putting together a clinic of which he will be in charge with like-minded cosmetic surgeons who will help you evaluate your life, hormones, vitamins, with doctors, life coaches, healers and a plethora of people and techniques before you submit to going under the knife for all the right reasons. I know Dr. Moretz from an incredible mask he makes that is alive with yummy ingredients that even involve a shaman's blessings and wakes your skin up to resemble a teenager's! It's remarkable and is called Dr. Mac's Mask.

He brings to cosmetic surgery an entire new way of looking at things: Are you sure it's a change in your appearance you are looking for or will hormone replacement do the trick? Now that your children are grown, don't you think your eyes deserve a little refreshing? It may set a whole new industry standard and I hope it will. Gone will be the days when people will have surgery and it won't make them feel better. Surgeries will only be done when appropriate and integrating other disciplines make good sense. Especially when one loves compliments! And for those who don't have perfect posture, maybe shoulder pad implants are on the horizon since I hear shoulder pads (yuck!) are coming back! But I jest --

If you are a fan of Pedro Almodovar and even if you are not, do see "The Skin I Am In," which has a story which surprises at every turn. You cannot discuss the story without hinting at the eventual ending, so suffice it to say, it's a juicy one! You will be talking with your friends about this one for a long time and watching Antonio Banderas on the screen is more pleasurable than popcorn and makes me wonder why it ever became a trend to have to have ugly leading men when we could have handsome ones!

Banderas's star has never burned brighter because he is also starring in "Puss in Boots" in 3D and it doesn't get anymore swashbuckling than that for an actor! In my experience, actors love attention, but he seems more evolved than that. He is definitely comfortable in his skin! But I'll bet if someone told him he had good posture that he might puff up just a little bit!

Life! Isn't it wonderful?

Please be a darling and become my fan, my friend, or let me know you were here! Thank you!

 
 
 

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12:07 PM on 10/28/2011
trust me, good posture is a 'turn-on'
you ladies that have it, use it and flaunt it - YOU GO !
& yes, Ms Patricia Rust does HAVE IT !
07:06 PM on 10/27/2011
Is this an essay or an ad? BTW, would your "surgeon's mask" help Mother Teresa in her last years? Of course, she needed some plastic surgeon working on her face while she was feeding the hungry.
09:27 AM on 10/27/2011
When my granddaughter turned 3 or 4 I noticed how she naturally had good posture and held herself well. That gave her a excellent natural persona, meaning personality and image projection.

It may be we would all have good posture, if we weren't beaten down by life as we go through it.

I have noticed on TV, some women hold themselves in a way that shows good 'carriage' but it is sexy, too. I looked for an hour and could not find a picture of a woman sitting in a chair looking sexy or attractive.

Here are links to a couple of pictures of women with attractive posture. The woman with the sexy hose on would look even more attractive to some in clothes that most women wear.

http://www.123rf.com/photo_5721398_studio-portrait-of-a-beautiful-young-blond-woman-sitting-on-the-chair.html

http://www.123rf.com/photo_2511470_young-blond-pretty-girl.html

I would consider it a great complement to be told I had good posture.
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jf12
Occupying myself
09:23 AM on 10/28/2011
It may be of interest that the slouchy posture usually attributed to gravity is also the normal posture of astronauts in the microgravity of outer space.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
LiberalLee
Yes I am a witch. Deal with it.
11:27 PM on 10/26/2011
Good posture is that which all your other attributes hang from.
Your carriage shows your awareness of your body and its fitness as well as your attitude.
It's the same as saying "you can dress it up but it's still not worth walking it in the public's eye."
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Patricia Rust
05:49 PM on 10/26/2011
I agree!! Maybe the person who said that, wishes she had a good posture like you!!!!!!! =)))) Hugs
04:15 PM on 10/26/2011
Take it as a wonderful compliment! You never see good posture anymore. I am a believer that those blessed with it are confident, open and giving humans. It's a beautiful sight! Cheers!
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johnnybic
Seeking to impose the gay agenda since 1971
03:36 PM on 10/25/2011
My favorite insult disguised as a compliment was addressed to me by one of my cattier friends: "John, I never TIRE of seeing you in that shirt!"
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Patricia Rust
02:48 PM on 10/26/2011
Oh, John, I'm not sure how great a friend he is! Maybe you can hint that you're considering doing a line of shirts based on this one as the anchor so you need to wear it a lot for feedback...that might keep him quiet! LOL! Good luck!
02:43 PM on 10/25/2011
As an exercise in vapidity, this essay is halfway decent.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
GibbsSlap
08:09 PM on 10/26/2011
And here I just thought it was an ad for her plastic surgeon.
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
LiberalLee
Yes I am a witch. Deal with it.
11:29 PM on 10/26/2011
Not a very good surgeon if he doesn't have the nerve to tell her the truth: Lipstick on a pig, just makes it look like some fool kissed the pig.