Like a fine bottle of wine, I truly believe that we become better, more robust and wiser as we age. Experience almost always trumps enthusiasm, and intimacy is no different. Through experience, older adults develop a more complete sexual road map than their younger counterparts. As we age, we acquire a greater understanding of our own bodies, our partners' bodies and what buttons to push to please them both.
Last week I was out to dinner when an older couple caught my eye. It was clear to me that both the man and the woman, who were probably in their 70s, dressed up for the occasion. They held hands across the table, toasted each other with red wine and exchanged knowing glances and smiles all night. These two are exemplary of so many older couples that share an intimacy younger couples cannot experience.
Who doesn't want to be the older couple that still flirts publicly? Remember, the only person who keeps you from being sexy is you. Harness that sexiness and find a way to explore it and share it with your partner. Be the couple you have always aspired to be.
It's time to celebrate the many ways that sex gets better as we age!
- An empty house means that you'll finally have the time and freedom to have spontaneous sex -- just make sure you keep those blinds closed!
- As we age, we tend to grow less inhibited and gain a new acceptance and appreciation for our bodies, especially women. In our 20s and 30s, there tends to be a strict standard of beauty that we hold ourselves to, but after giving birth or being with a partner for many years, it's easier to redefine individualistic beauty. This new confidence provides women with the freedom to unleash their wild side in the bedroom and have the confidence to ask for what they want.
- Some people find that it actually becomes easier to communicate about unresolved performance issues as we get older. There is a direct correlation between sexual issues, such as low libido and erectile dysfunction, and age. When people feel like their problems are less like an individual failing and more like the body's natural progression, it's easier to discuss it.
- In a long-term committed relationship, trust has been built up for years, so individuals, especially women, experience a higher level of emotional and physical closeness, which contributes to more satisfying sex. In fact, according to a recent study targeting females from researchers from the University of California, San Diego School of Medicine and the Veterans Affairs San Diego Healthcare System, 61 percent of sexually active older women said they are satisfied with their sex lives and reported high frequency of arousal and orgasm compared to their younger counterparts.
- Post-menopause you no longer have to worry about getting pregnant, which opens the door to more spontaneous and less stressful romps. Additionally, some women link birth control to lower levels of desire and decreased libido. Just remember though, if you're not in a monogamous relationship, you'll still need to use a condom to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases.
- An additional bonus to having the kids out of the house is that you'll hopefully have the ability to slow life down a bit and sleep more than five hours a night. Use the time to charge your batteries; you'll be ready to go whenever an intimate occasion arises. Moreover, you'll also have the time and energy to focus on having fun as an individual and as a couple. It's a time to discover new activities that you both enjoy doing together, in and out of the bedroom.
- If you're still working, and lucky enough to have reached a point in your career where you have financial stability, that may mean less stress and more disposable income to spend on romantic dinners, vacations and sassy lingerie. Create a romantic bucket list with your partner; experiencing new activities together will help to create and reinvigorate your bond.
Anyone who tells you that your sex life will come to an end when you reach 50 is seriously mistaken. Just remember: Sexiness is timeless. Make a decision each day to get in touch with your sensual side and bring that excitement to your relationship in order to achieve a more fulfilling sexual life and relationship at every age.