Economists Tell Clintons to Continue Campaign

A group of 250 leading economists has signed a letter urging the Clintons to continue her campaign for the Democratic nomination for president. "The remaining states have all fallen on hard times," said the letter, "and the Clinton campaign spends enormous amounts of money, forcing Obama to spend even more money. We have seen that Hillary now knows how to pump, and this is pump-priming---or pump-primarying---at its most basic."

The Clintons enthusiastically endorsed the economists' letter: "We have always found that listening to economists' recommendations is the right thing to do," said former President Bill Clinton. "Besides, if we quit, Hillary would want to spend the summer driving around the country in our Hummer to find the good duck hunting, and we would be paying federal taxes on the gasoline we would use. What good would that do?"

Candidate Senator Hillary Clinton was even more effusive: "when you campaign, you meet people in diners and bowling alleys, in bars and at Dairy Queens, just more of the same people with whom we have been spending the last 25 years", said the former First Lady, "so why change? Ronald Reagan's entire economic program sprang from a drawing on a napkin he found in a diner, so there's still hope we can find an economic program too," said Clinton.

The economists' letter, written by Art Laffer, contained complex econometric analyses demonstrating how the math strongly favored the Clintons chances of winning the nomination. "It's just like taxes," said the letter, "the more you cut, the higher the revenues. With the Clinton campaign, the more you cut the number of states that really count, the higher their lead. It is really very simple."