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The Strip Diary, Day Twenty Five: Hey China, President Trump Will See You Next Tuesday

Posted: 04/30/11 12:41 PM ET

Day Twenty Five: New York, New York ($179)

The Huffington Post has a very strict, and admirable, policy against ad hominem attacks. I know this because a couple of weeks ago I submitted the first draft of a post calling for a boycott of Donald Trump's Las Vegas hotel and, an hour or so later, I got a phone call politely but firmly explaining that policy.

On that occasion, it was an easy fix -- a couple of tweaks so that I was hating the game and not the player. This time around, having sat in a ballroom at the Treasure Island last night, listening to Trump address a group of Nevada-based "Republican Women's Groups," my task is way harder.

In fact, after less than an hour in the same room as Donald Trump, I defy any right-thinking human being not to want to call him some pretty unpleasant names. After all, if Trump gets his way, America will immediately be plunged into a pit of political and economic isolationism that would make the Bush Jr years seem positively warm and fuzzy. As a foreigner who loves America, it took all of my reserves of self control not to heckle from my press seat.

"Motherfucker."

That's Trump's word, not mine, obviously. My journalistic impartiality -- and the Huffington Posts rules -- explicitly prohibits me from calling Trump a motherfucker. And so, accordingly, I will keep my opinion of the man -- whatever that opinion might be -- to myself. No, "motherfucker" is how Donald Trump referred to Chinese politicians. As in, "I'm going to say, listen you motherfuckers, here's a 25% levy on Chinese imports..." Throughout his speech, Trump cursed like a tourettic Soprano. This despite the fact that the average age of attendee was close to triple figures, even allowing for the half dozen children I counted scampering around the room. On Iraq he cursed about how we can build schools in the war-blighted country ("schools, which they then blow up") but "we can't get a fucking school built in Brooklyn"; On oil: "You have oil at this much a gallon because someone in Washington said 'You ain't gonna raise the fuckin' price"; on Trump's lack of racism: "Some of my friends are Chinese; But now they're not talking to me. They're like 'shit, can you believe this guy?'"

And on and on. To the point that the AP reporter sitting next to me broke off her conversation with one of the organizers: "Sorry, I have to listen to this -- he's going to curse some more."

Between the fucks and the shits, though, lay actual concrete Trump policy; "The Trump Doctrine," as he straight-facedly referred to it. For a start, Trump promised to be tough on nature, and tough on the causes of nature. "Nobody knows more about the environment than I do. I receive a lot of environmental awards," he assured the crowd, to murmurs of approval. "Green technology is important. But what good is green technology here when China is spewing out crap. We gotta drill in Alaska. We gotta drill. There is so much oil."

That particular point caused the first of many confused audience reactions of the night. Conditioned to respond to clearly flagged platitudes and talking points, the crowd gamely tried to second guess the appropriate reaction to each word as it came out of Trump's mouth. In the above case, the response went like this...

"Green technology is important"

CHEER!

"But what good is green technology here when China is spewing out crap...?

CHEE... BOOOOO!

"We gotta drill in Alaska!"

CHEER!

Even more comical was the audience reaction to Trump's defense policy...

"We went into Iraq because there were weapons of mass destruction!"

CHEER!

"But there weren't any weapons of mass destruction!"

BOO!

"And people said it was all about oil"

BOO!

"And I say, well that would have been a good reason to go in!"

CHEER!

Make no mistake, Donald Trump loves oil, like the Cookie Monster loves cookies or the Republican Women's Groups of Nevada love hairspray. On Libya: "I say, we go into Libya and we take the oil. People say, Donald that's a sovereign nation. I say, there's no nation!" That one got a big cheer too. Fuck sovereign nations.

Fuck also America's inability to bomb one back to the stone age. "Out leadership is weak and pathetic -- we can't even take over Libya" Big laugh that time. America is weak, ho ho ho. Apparently, to Trump supporters, for all the flag waving and singing of the national anthem (the pledge of allegiance was recited too), America is only great when it's run by Republicans. The rest of the time: "America isn't a great country. We love our country, but it isn't a great country."

Really? I'm just a persistent visitor to these shores, but from where I'm sitting, it looks pretty great. I mean, where else but America would you find a system so democratic that it allows a clown like Donald Trump can run for office rather than, say, locking him in an asylum?

The next of Trump's weird semantic somersaults took him spinning towards his critics: "Some of the press is scum," -- and then away again, with a nod to the Fox cameras in the room -- "not all of the media -- but some of the media." Accordingly his mention of the New York Times elicited a boo, until it became clear that he was quoting a positive review of his own TV show, whereupon it turned instantly to a cheer. To this crowd it seems that, like America itself, the media is scum until the point you agree with what it says.

More contorted still was Trump's rhetoric on foreign goods: "Every time I buy a television -- and I buy a lot of televisions for the Trump hotel -- I look at the market and I end up buying LGs from South Korea."

The crowd waited for its cue. Where was Trump going with this, I wondered. If he attacked foreign goods, then he's tacitly admitting the TVs at his hotels suck. But he can't praise foreign manufacturing. Unless... "they're good televisions -- but why don't we make them?" Huge applause.

In fact, televisions form an important cornerstone of Trump's foreign policy. If South Korea wants American troops to continue to help defend it against the North, he explained, then they're going to have to agree to make their televisions in America. Problem solved. Big cheer.

China too will have to outsource its manufacturing to America, if it wishes to continue having the honor of owning American debt. "This year China is going to make from this country, $300 billion" exclaimed Trump. Again, the crowd didn't know how to react, so they let out a kind of collective "ahhh--oooh-eeeh" noise. But then came the punchline... "Why shouldn't we make $300 billion?" Why indeed, Donald? Except for basic economics, but let's not get dragged down by those. Let's also gloss over the fact that your tie pins and clips are made in China. Those motherfuckers. "We had the president of China here and we gave him a state dinner. When people are screwing you, you don't give them dinner"

(For the record, I do like to give dinner to people who are screwing me. It seems only polite.)

And so the madness continued, for a good solid forty minutes -- all sound and fury, signifying nothing. Like some kind of grotesque burlesque dancer, Trump littered his speech with hints at a presidential run, being careful not to peel off his pasties and naming a date. "Run for president" shouted a woman in the crowd. Trump responded with a smile: "Thank you darling; I think I'm going to make you very happy."

Just don't expect dinner afterwards.

 
 
 

Follow Paul Carr on Twitter: www.twitter.com/paulgoestovegas

Day Twenty Five: New York, New York ($179) The Huffington Post has a very strict, and admirable, policy against ad hominem attacks. I know this because a couple of weeks ago I submitted the first dra...
Day Twenty Five: New York, New York ($179) The Huffington Post has a very strict, and admirable, policy against ad hominem attacks. I know this because a couple of weeks ago I submitted the first dra...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Rahul Sood
found of VoodooPC, sold to HP in 2006, former CTO
11:06 PM on 05/05/2011
Oooooo he'd be fun to watch run for president, but I'd move to England if he won!
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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ebanks84
Grandma knows best!
12:30 PM on 05/04/2011
Trump is a joke and the lemmings who give him credence are his trumpettes, that's all. These people are so brainwashed into hanging on to every word that comes out of a republican's mouth that they just don't know any different. They don't even know they don't know what they're doing and that's why they look at you like you're the crazy one. They're hanging on to every little word to give them permission to either agree or disagree. It's pathetic how these people have lost their own free will to think for themselves.

These people have yet to "wake up" and smell the coffee in America. They will continually vote NOT in their own best interest because their "group" think is targeted to mass approval instead of individual concepts. If you catch them on the streets and ask them individually what they think, you might get a more reasonable response. However, at republican events and while gathered in groups, they all seem to want to jump into their "lemmings" mode and just follow the leaders off the cliff.

This is a republican phenomenal that needs to be thoroughly investigated as to why this happens among right wing constituents mainly. It's not prominent among the liberal base because liberals ask too many questions and are not that trusting of politicians just because of their party brand. We are "free thinkers" follow no one blindly.
07:49 AM on 05/02/2011
Comments about the government shipping jobs overseas seem to ignore the fact that it is actually the companies that are shipping the jobs overseas - to make profits to benefit the shareholders. If government tried to regulate these companies so that they couldn't do this, there would be screams of over governing and intervention. Very scary to think that Americans are even considering Trump!
01:35 PM on 05/01/2011
I think Donald Trump suffers from the "Gadafi Syndrome"!!!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
see-ellen2001
11:57 AM on 05/01/2011
I think Trump is one of those people who have been surrounded by 'yes men' for so long that he has no sense of appropriateness. He is under the delusion that "if I say it, it is good and right and true" bcs no one has ever countered him. Like a spoiled child who really cannot understand why he can't take the other kid's toy, simply because no one as ever told him it is wrong.
And really, for all it's problems and issues, the US is a great country.
Sign me, Canadian neighbour.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
foxynoise
09:42 PM on 04/30/2011
I think I am at the table next to Paul, and if I heard him correctly, he just sad what he said he was only thinking. Good thinking!
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ebanks84
Grandma knows best!
12:34 PM on 05/04/2011
What?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
SkannerConstant
I Am Woman - Hear Me Vote
09:07 PM on 04/30/2011
And he didn't get invited to the Royal Wedding, either. No wonder.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
rae112754
08:41 PM on 04/30/2011
You summed in all up in your own words, you are a foreigner, one of the biggest problems here in the USA. What country are you from ???? Im sure the government there is just soooo nice and sweet and ploite and of course soooooooo honest. Something tells me you are probably from one of the countries that owes the USA billions of dollars in debt that they borrowed at one time or another and never paid it back.......................
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
gavrielle
Empty... Empty... Empty...
10:25 PM on 04/30/2011
Actually, Britain paid back the last of its post WWII debt several years ago.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Roxee
"Feeling" you're right, doesn't "prove" you are.
12:08 AM on 05/02/2011
Trump outsourced to china. Why doesn't somebody ask him why? When he answers: I pay less because their workers get less, ask him if he'll return those jobs to america and pay more for them because the workers get paid more. If he says he will, then ask him how he plans to get the rest of outsourcing back, followed by a question about how he thinks china will react.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
atokageneral
What kinda guru are you anyway?
08:28 PM on 04/30/2011
Mr. Carr was merely showing how aimlessly the pubs follow anyone they're told to follow. Good job!
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yourmotherwasahamster
Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe
08:17 PM on 04/30/2011
Just when you thought American political theater could not become any more vulgar.
06:58 PM on 04/30/2011
I am sorry if Mr. Trump upset your sensibilities Mr. Carr, but I think it's MORE than appropriate that Trump and Americans in general curse up and down over how our government has given away the farm to China and other mercantalist nations, all in the name of an economic theory by some dead chap. We have a $700 billlion trade deficit, and all you can get upset about is some profanities or Trump's delivery. It's amazing that people aren't rioting in the streets over having their jobs offshored, and their and their childrens' futures destroyed all because of our incompetent leadership and treasonist corporations. So please spare me your hurt feelings because The Donald, and The Donald alone had the nerve to step up and say what millions of ruined Americans would like to say, if only they hadn't been cut out of the nonexistent debate on "free trade."
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
CaraTaylor
Is that true or did you hear it on Fox News?
06:24 PM on 04/30/2011
This one is a must read! Thanks, Paul.

Anyone else think the Donald was just playing his usual game of 'running for President' the way children make crap up to get attention UNTIL everybody and their dog started saying, "He's just doing it for publicity - there is NO WAY", or "I promise you he will NOT actually do it"? Too many people calling him out, too many people that he now has to prove wrong???
Wouldn't it be ironic, though, if this little publicity tour actually ruined him?!?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
paid troll
i couldn't find an XXXL flag costume
06:37 PM on 04/30/2011
i think it has ruined him, in more way than he realizes.
08:54 PM on 04/30/2011
Before, The Donald got some respect by most Americans.

Oh, he was loud and arrogant and could be a pain.....
But he was still THE DONALD....the big businessman. (deserved or not)

Now?
A good portion of the American people now consider him a clown.
And that probably includes quite a few Repugs.
06:23 PM on 04/30/2011
"Hey China, President Trump Will See You Next Tuesday "

Oh I see what you did there.
06:15 PM on 04/30/2011
I think politicians and this reporter are "punking" america. This is just too crazy to believe... what is too crazy? Him swearing or our economy decimated by low wage polluted economies like China and India? Stop you say, did you hear him swear? Wow, gosh, I'm devastated that he cussed. You don't get it. He is hitting, batting high here folks. If he scares you than wake and and talk REAL ISSUES not the status quo where job growth is gone from America.

You were offended Mr. Writer? Well here is a choice for you. Some guy comes to your house and yells at you to clean up your trash, mow your lawn and throws a water balloon at your car. The next guy smiles, tells you your house looks great but you could pick up the trash and oh here is an eviction notice as we have taken back your house for leaving the trash out. Ok, maybe you would prefer someone that says hey pick up your trash or you will be evicted. Yeah I prefer this guy also. But we have the current politicians or Trump the guy throwing the balloon full of water and cussing but you still have your house.

WAKE UP AMERICA

Start with fixing the China trade problem, job problem, immigration problem, drug problem, etc. Talk about real issues we are tired of the old recycled political garbage. We want change.
01:17 PM on 05/01/2011
200 years ago europe was bitching because cheap low cost goods were flooding thier markets made by low wage workers in the colonies. It is called evolution of business markets. Why complain about other countries when it was american corporations like Walmart who outsourced our consumer products so you could buy them cheaper than american companies could make them for. It is we who are at fault for not supporting our own industry. Unless you buy american you are supporting someone else. But since when is that bad, they make the easy stuff we have to focus on the hard to make items. It just means we have to work harder to be smarter. If your not educated or adaptable you will probably be relagated to whining on pages like these.
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MoreFocusLessEntropy
Old Geezer, Old Walrus
06:08 PM on 04/30/2011
I can just see all of those bible belt preachers driving themselves crazy trying to find the words to spin Trump into a good Christian candidate. LOL!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
atokageneral
What kinda guru are you anyway?
08:22 PM on 04/30/2011
so well put...F&F
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sunbeltvoter
Teapublican Evangelical Cults ARE The Problem
08:34 PM on 04/30/2011
What will the Pat Robertsons say? "Well so The Donnie swears like a longshoreman. Dock workers are good employed folks and work with ships and Baby Jeebus was a fisher of men and fishermen ride on ships, so The Donnie is next to Godliness. Vote for that Trump/Palin ticket."
01:18 PM on 05/01/2011
I thought it was Palin/Trump