Why Compassion?
Paul Dunion
Every spiritual tradition that has avoided isolation and self-aggrandizement has brought attention to the importance of compassion.
•"Teach this triple truth to all: A generous heart, kind speech, and life of service and compassion are the things that renew humanity."
The Buddha
• "And what will explain to what the steep path is? It is the freeing of a slave from bondage; or the giving of food in a day of famine, to an orphan relative or to a needy in distress. Then will he be of those who believe, enjoin fortitude and courage, kindness and compassion."
Qur'an, Chapter 90, Verses 12-17.
(Compassion is the most frequently used word in the Qur'an.)
•"Ahimsa (non-violence) is the highest duty."
Hinduism, Padma Purana 1,31.27.
•"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you."
Christianity, Ephesians - 4:32.
•"A religious man is a person who holds God and man in one thought at one time, at all times, who suffers harm done to others, whose greatest passion is compassion, whose greatest strength is love and defiance of despair."
Judaism, Abraham J. Heschel
What is Compassion?
Compassion is larger than empathy. Empathy is a feeling state where we allow ourselves to feel into the suffering of another person. We don't necessarily take on the person's pain, but rather allow ourselves to be touched and moved by their distress. An old definition of the word compassion is suffering together. Compassion acknowledges that we are on the same journey, experiencing a common suffering. When we experience compassion, we may be touched and moved by the other's suffering. However, compassion is an attitude composed of an empathic feeling with some corresponding belief and an intention to act in some particular way such as offering support during a time of loss, or not to act is some way, such as non-violence. Although, it is typically easy to agree with the importance of such a large guiding principle such as compassion, we don't commonly pause and explore how it serves us.
How It Works
•Joining rather than separating. Compassion brings us together. A commitment to live with compassion diminishes the likelihood of separating ourselves from others due to socio-economic status, ethnicity and religion. We see others seeking love and fulfillment, troubled by similar obstacles and enduring failure, loss and despair.
•Enduring together. An old meaning of the word suffering is to endure. When compassion generates unity, we are less likely to succumb to the many faces of divisiveness. We are less prone to gossip, blame and shame others and get pleasure out of domination and bullying. We are also less likely to go to war. Compassion confirms a kinship between us. Inflicting pain on another begins to feel more and more like a self-infliction.
•Equanimity for the self. Remaining a student of compassion lessens inner instability in several ways. We spend less time weaving toxic stories energized by resentment, jealousy, vindictiveness and hatred. We move on more easily, not ruminating about past hurts and troubles. We spend less time and energy comparing and contrasting ourselves to others. The inclination to decide who occupies the high ground begins to dismantle, as our scaffolding of judgments begins to collapse.
•Foundation for forgiveness. Compassion is often a useful foundation for forgiveness. It allows us to see others as wounded and lost, as opposed to evil and malicious. It's not that the latter description is never warranted; rather, it is to be used judiciously. A woman who felt victimized by her father's alcoholism says, " We were both victims".
•Generosity. Compassion yields a greater generosity of heart. We are able to welcome different opinions and beliefs without the urgency to strongly position ourselves. More intellectual and emotional space or accommodation is available, with attempts at influence and competition being diminished.
•Creativity. As we generate more opportunity for diverse views, we have less need to armor and defend ourselves against another's convictions. As defenses acquire a respite, we open more to possibility. Exploration gains ease as we find ourselves to be more curious, leaving the status quo and daring to go where we have not been before.
•Rapport building. Recipients of compassion typically feel held in acceptance. Acceptance is often the first stepping-stone toward building trust. Compassion goes a long way toward setting the stage for the possibility of mutual understanding, collaboration and even emotional intimacy.
Any principle or belief we adopt in order to provide our lives with guidance will deserve our attention and review. Not only to assess whether we are actually living it, but also to identify its utility. When we ignore such an inventory, we run the risk of citing platitudes allegedly bringing meaning and depth to our lives. We know what we believe but we don't know why. And when the why becomes increasingly obscure, so does the lived experience of the principle we hold to be true