04/12/2011 11:42 am ET | Updated Jun 12, 2011

Planet HGTV...

I think you really have to live in NYC to understand how truly incredible the HGTV channel is to those of us who live here.

My wife watches shows like House Hunters incessantly so I've been exposed, more or less against my will. But now even I'm hooked because, frankly, I'm flabbergasted by what these "house hunters" are seeking -- garage parking, double-sinks, granite counter-tops, master bedrooms the size of Colorado. I mean, this is not your average New Yorker's house-hunting experience. I didn't even know what a master bathroom was until I was nearly 30.

New Yorkers are conditioned to accept so much less. Really. This may be the most sophisticated city in the world but most of our housing is lacking just about everything the rest of the country is demanding! We're thankful if the house we buy does not need a six-figure renovation.

There's now a house on my block -- yes, it's a brownstone in Park Slope and they aren't making those anymore -- where the asking price is $1.9 million. You'd think you'd get a nice looking house for that kind of money but, this being NYC, think again. Said house has not been renovated in, oh, probably three decades or so.

For sure, it will need a totally new kitchen and all new bathrooms and who knows what else? It probably won't sell for $1.9 million. Most likely, it will go for around $1.4 million and whoever buys it will need to put in another couple of hundred thousand. That's if there's not a bidding war.

Compare that with Planet HGTV. People on House Hunters walk into totally renovated homes with new paint jobs, wooden floors, gigantic walk-in closets, finished basements, master bathrooms with a shower and a free-standing spa tub, spacious yards -- all for the grand price of $350,000 -- and they have the nerve to complain!!!

The phrase, looks a little small to me, is repeated on an endless loop.

To which I say, hey buddy, try living in a NYC apartment. We don't have anything you're looking for but we do live in the most exciting city in the world!! It really is all about location, isn't it?