A Memorial Day Salute to My Partner's Father

John Glenn Gooch's military stone had only recently been placed in the cemetery, when we arrived to plant flowers to honor him this Memorial Day weekend. Glenn died this winter and is now buried near the town where he arrived in America from Wales at the age of six. An American by choice, Glenn served in World War II directing warplanes in Iceland, and during the last year of his life often told me of his fond memories and proud days of service in the American Armed Forces.

I kneeled down to clear the ground of some fresh growth and break up the dirt while my partner Brad and his mother Bette waited to hand me the more "masculine" flowers she had picked out for him. Bette and Glenn had been married sixty-four years having met in high school in this northeastern corner of Pennsylvania. Both were from mining families - not the owners, but the miners - and Glenn was able to go to college because of the GI Bill that greeted returning veterans and later rose to become the president of a major utilities company in the area.

Glenn's grave had an American flag waving over it, and as I dug I felt deep appreciation for his service, and for the service he and so many others have given to allow me to live a relatively free life in this country. I remember reading an essay written by my father Walter Raushenbush at Harvard lamenting that he had narrowly missed the opportunity to fight in WWII, which had ended just before he turned 18. At the time it shocked my young leftist soul that someone should be so eager to fight, but now I appreciate much more the call to serve my country. (My father later joined the Air Force rising to the rank of Colonel.)

That neither Brad nor I are eligible to serve because of our sexuality is not the point of this brief essay, but it is a point that needs to be made. In reflecting upon his father's service, Brad commented that WWII was one of the last common calls upon all Americans. The universal draft made everyone part of a unified effort including both Brad's family and my own. Although plagued by racial segregation, the armed forces brought people of every background together and made plain our common identity as Americans. Today, only openly gay and lesbian people are restricted from this opportunity.

Of all my identities, including my religious one, nothing is stronger than my national identity as an American, and my appreciation for the ideal upon which this country was founded. The longer I live, and the more countries I visit, my pride in my country only grows. This Memorial Day I give thanks for the memory of John Glenn Gooch, for the service of Walter Raushenbush, and for all of those who have served in our armed forces to keep our country safe. May we continue to become a more perfect union - the land of the free.

Comments

[Bitsko]

In honor of our serving gals and guys, here's the haunting Cross The Green Mountain by Bob Dylan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yT8DAgpSVk

[Artemis34]

Very nice. Thanks.

[SJBrown]

"Although plagued by racial segregation, the armed forces brought people of every background together and made plain our common identity as Americans....."

Black people served in every war in U.S history and it didn't make us more American. The draft is what brought people from all backgrounds together, although Blacks and poor were called more often.

The military calls on those who serve to give up rights of asssociation, movement, and speech. You serve 24/7. You not only wear a uniform, you wear the uniform of the day.

My Father served in Korea and had no fond memories of war (conflict). He didn't return more American or with a more common identify. He came back Black, just like he left.

Let's respect and honor our military and those that sacrifice for this country one day without wrapping them in our political agendas. Just one day.

[larry278]

I had a humbling experience today. My local Dominos Pizza's manager & asked me if they could send me a pizza since it was memorial day & I was a veteran. People often thank me for having served when they learn that I'm a veteran. These things didn't happen 4 years ago.
I like to think that the armed forces' DADT policy will become history soon. The POTUS & the Congress could remember that they have spines & abandon DADT & other useless, atavistic traditions of the armed forces.
The USA's gay troops have often served as heroes despite the ban of gay people serving in our armed forces. Other gay troops kept their sexuality in the closet, served honorably, left the services with honorable discharges without their services & comrades knowing that they were gay.
It is way past time to treat the troops like human beings. It is 2009, not 1941.

[jamessch]

We need our Seantors on record with the ending of DADT and the moving forward of the Uniting American Families Act! Speeches are not enough...

[alphonsegaston]

Great post. My son and I were just talking about the difference between generations like yours and your father's--when it became a political statement to show the flag and sing patriotic songs. We hope to regain the proper status of patriotism, removed from political stains.