My vocation as a minister requires delivering eulogies to mourning communities. Eulogies are meant to give voice to the feelings of communal loss and offer words of comfort and hope amidst the pain of death or tragedy. It is the hardest thing that clergy have to do. I am always left wishing I could offer more than words to heal the broken hearts, and to replace the arms of a loved one who will no longer be felt in an embrace. But sometimes all we have are words, and the truth is that words matter -- especially the kind of words that the president used in his address to the nation in the wake of the shootings in Arizona.
The grieving community that the president addressed included the families of those who had been killed and injured -- but it also stretched out to an entire nation. He was speaking to a country that is unclear how to deal with our grief at this tragedy. We are simultaneously sad for the victims, and calling for more civility even as we show our anger and frustration by pointing fingers of blame. It was a very difficult eulogy that the president had to deliver -- and he did a wonderful job.
I was surprised how emotional I got during his address. Perhaps it was because of the way the president described the people who had died. The president spent most of his time reminding us that America is comprised of people -- just plain people like the ones who were shot in Arizona. He lingered on each individual, memorializing lives that were unique, varied, and precious. In describing them the president was also describing each one of us -- not just the 'us' that are our close friends and political allies, but Us -- all of us, the 'American Family' as the president reminded us. By remembering them, the president reminded us that every American is as they were, precious in God's sight and worthy of respect, dignity and life.
As the president said -- 'our hearts are broken' -- but we also must have the strength to be hopeful. Finding the strength to go on living life to the fullest is, of course, the main effort of any eulogy. And it is not easy. Often when a loved one dies the family is rent apart and cannot heal -- divorces often happen after the loss of a child. Accusations are made and blame is placed in an effort to make sense of the loss. This is exactly what our country has been doing to one another, and it leads only to more pain and division. The president allowed that there is evil in the world that defies explanation. He referenced Job from the Hebrew Bible quoting: "When I looked for light, then came darkness." As a nation we must not come apart over this. Instead this is the time to come together, as the president said:
Rather than pointing fingers or assigning blame, let us use this occasion to expand our moral imaginations, to listen to each other more carefully, to sharpen our instincts for empathy, and remind ourselves of all the ways our hopes and dreams are bound together.
Ultimately, the president called upon our best selves to move forward. To honor the dead by living up to the highest standard of life we can while we continue to have life. As the president said:
We recognize our own mortality, and are reminded that in the fleeting time we have on this earth, what matters is not wealth, or status, or power, or fame -- but rather, how well we have loved, and what small part we have played in bettering the lives of others.
The fact that Congresswoman Giffords opened her eyes just before the president's address seems a perfect metaphor. Through his eulogy the president opened our eyes to a way to honor those who have died and give courage to those who struggle to recover. We can be the best people we can be as individuals, love our neighbors and create a more perfect union and a better America.
Thank you, Mr. President.