Contempter-in-Chief: The Richard Nixon Quiz

Richard Nixon's observation about Fred Thompson being "dumb as hell" is just one of thousands of aspersions cast in the Oval Office and captured on tape. Test your knowledge of Tricky Dick's bountiful Oval Office bile:

1) What did Richard Nixon call his Secretary of the Treasury, George Shultz?
a) "That candy-ass."
b) "That horse's ass."
c) "That flaming asshole."

2) What did Richard Nixon say about California governor Ronald Reagan?
a) "Reagan's so ignorant he doesn't even know how ignorant he is."
b) "Reagan, on a personal basis, is terrible. He's just an uncomfortable man to be around - strange."
c) "Reagan - Christ, don't get stuck in a room with him. All he does is tell these stupid jokes."

3) How did Richard Nixon describe Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart?
a) "A stupid bastard."
b) "A miserable bastard."
c) "A weak bastard."

4) How did Richard Nixon describe Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall?
a) "A black bastard."
b) "An old fool and a black fool."
c) "An uppity son-of-a-bitch."

5) Complete Richard Nixon's assessment of Washington Post publisher Katharine Graham: "She is _______________"
a) a terrible old bag.
b) a nervy old broad.
c) a slutty old whore.

6) Two of these men were referred to by Richard Nixon as "that asshole." Which one was referred to as "that s.o.b."?
a) G. Gordon Liddy.
b) E. Howard Hunt.
c) Pierre Trudeau.

7) How did Richard Nixon describe Supreme Court Justice William Brennan?
a) "A lily-livered liberal ninny."
b) "A jackass Catholic."
c) "A Goddamn Communist."

8) Who did Richard Nixon refer to as "that wop"?
a) His Secretary of Transportation, John Volpe.
b) New Jersey congressman Peter Rodino.
c) Judge John Sirica.

9) How did Richard Nixon describe Supreme Court Justice Hugo Black?
a) "A senile old bastard."
b) "An idiot hillbilly."
c) "An old fart."

10) How did Richard Nixon refer to his Supreme Court nominee William Rehnquist?
a) "That dunce Rehnquist."
b) "That boob from Arizona."
c) "That clown Renchburg."

11) What did Richard Nixon call the heads of the Securities and Exchange Commission?
a) "Those dopes at S.E.C."
b) "That bunch of Wall Street nitwits."
c) "The S.E.C. Jewboys."

12) What did Richard Nixon say about his press secretary, Herb Klein?
a) "Klein's a moron, and his name sounds Jewish. Is he a kike?"
b) "Klein just doesn't have his head screwed on."
c) "If Klein was any dumber he'd eat out of the toilet and shit on the table."

ANSWERS: 1) a, 2) b, 3) c, 4) b, 5) a, 6) b, 7) b, 8) c, 9) a, 10) c, 11) c, 12) b

Paul Slansky's quizzes will be a regular feature on 23/6, the new satiric news site coming soon to a computer screen near you.

Comments

[pdxthom]

Why did Paul write about Nixon? Because it's delicious fun, that's why. The same sort of fun we'll be having years from now mocking the current ignorant chimp after he leaves office as the most hated President in US history.

Plus, most of us would gladly take Nixon back. If nothing else, the man listened to the courts. When the Supreme Court ordered him to hand over his tapes, he did so. Do you think this administration would listen to the Supreme Court? (It's more like the other way around, anyway.)

From the old campaign slogan:
PRESIDENT NIXON. NOW, MORE THAN EVER.

[sqweels]

Compared to Bush, Nixon was a liberal. So this is just another example of how bad liberals are.

[TJS]

Bush has done the near-impossible. He has made people...even liberals...nostalgic for Nixon. Nixon's foul mouth is just another contrast between Nixon and "born again Bush." Nixon's profanity, however offensive, shows more intelligence than Bush does in all his smugly delivered remarks. I'm reminded of Jean Shepherd's classic line about his father from the movie "Christmas Story," modified to apply to Nixon: "Nixon worked in profanity the way some artists worked in clay or stone...it was his true medium!"

[normathumb]

No one ever said Nixon was an idiot. The historical ruminations on his character center on his insecurities, the degree to which he was dark, venal, and evil. The future debate on Bush will center on whether he is as stupid as contemporary accounts make him out to be. He will have his defenders. They will have to argue he was not dumb as a rock, simply misunderestimated.

[presidentsrus]

The comments asking why go back when we have current troubles miss what I think is the point.

The contemporary and post presidential myth making by these guys is so overwhelming that any effort to dent the majesty is worthwhile

Nixon was less able to pull off the smooth patina we've come to expect from presidents, and he is worthy of study if only as a stage in their evolution.

[mimipond]

Can it be I'm nostalgic for the Nixon my father taught me to throw darts at? Your commentary is always FABULOUS!

[BushBites]

Disagree with 8.

I think the transcript said "wop" but Nixon actually said something like "that's the kind we want."

Or so says Woodward and Bernstein's "The Final Days."

[avergejoe]

So?

Nixon said 'bad' words and brought the troops back from Vietnam (among other things).

bush turns his deceitful contempt into war after war!

Give me honest 'bad' words anytime - sticks and stones.

[rbenjamin]

I used to think Nixon was the worst president we'd ever have. How wrong I was. I forget who said it first, but "the occupant of Grant's Tomb is going up a notch."

[MrJoyboy]

Nixon was recently overheard calling Bush a "candy-ass cheerleader with more air than brains inside his skull".

[normathumb]

Nixon hasn't recently been heard saying anything. He died during the Clinton junta.

[RobbieEagleFan]

Hey you forgot my favorite. Long time Nixon apologist Len Garman who he called the "house Jew" which is the position I occupy in my family

[zendem1]

NIXON FROM BEYOND THE VEIL

"Hey..I finally got cable"

"We don't want Cheney down here. We're afraid he'll take over."

"I really have come to love the taste of menthol cigarettes"

"Told you that Bush kid was trouble."

"Sue Anthony looks hot in a tube top."

"Reagan's still thinks he served in WWII"

"You'd think being a dead ex-President would get you a free haircut."

[GH]

Why does the media capitalize on bringing up Nixon now? The left doesn't care what Nixon thought about anthing.

They certainly didn't want to play this tape back when Mr. Nose was running for Pres:

From Progressive Review On-Line Report #70 , 28 Jan 1998:

While the press has no problem reporting such stories about Barry (or Dan Quayle for that matter), it has not told the public about the existence of a police tape of Roger Clinton describing his own cocaine trafficking and saying of his brother, "Got to get some for my brother; he's got a nose like a vacuum cleaner."

-- A former informant for a drug task force in Arkansas tells Ambrose Evans-Pritchard of the London Telegraph that she supplied Bill with c ocaine during his first terms as governor. On one occasion, according to the woman, "He was so messed up that night, he slid down the wall into a garbage can."

Certainly, that was well sourced enough for Dan Rather, or/ no one has proven it wrong, yet.

[drspaceman]

But Clinton said he didn't inhale, maybe they just asked the wrong questions. So Clinton and G.W. Bush were both cokeheads. Well at least they weren't dropping acid or shooting up heroin, right? Nixon had to be 'on' something, if he wasn't then he should have been.

[AnotherMcIntosh]

"Why does the media capitalize on bringing up Nixon now?"

Here's a couple of thoughts.

In part, the recent attention paid to Nixon is an effective reminder of how old Fred Thompson is. I.e., he is so old that even Nixon knew him.

In addition, it is an effective reminder that Fred Thompson is an insider. He pretends to be someone from outside of the beltway, but he is so inside-the-beltway that he was even known and evaluated by Nixon.

[RogerHWerner]

GH, the American people should NEVER be permitted to forget Nixon and we should place George W. Bush's name next to Nixon's. Nixon was anti-democratic and had no business being a politician in a democratic government but he would have made an effective Fuhrer in a fascist society. Frankly, although using cocaine is against the law it isn't a violent crime. I'm don't wish to excuse drug use but let's face it, it's a vice crime and something many Americans of all ages, sexes, and races do recreationally. Nixon's abuse of executive power and Bush's politicizing the executive branch transcend criminality. The actions of these men violate core American democratic principles, undermined our system of governance, and soiled what was good in our government. The American electorate never recovered from the Watergate conspiracy and I expect further deleterious affects owing to the documented abuses perpetrated by Bush. Consequently, both Nixon and Bush deserve to be roundly and perpetually condemned by history.

BTW: When Bill Clinton is charged with criminal behavior, prosecuted, and found guilty by a jury then talk to us about his criminal behavior. Until that occurs, or, until Clinton commits an act(s) that is so publicly documented that its existence is undeniable, all of the so called evidence against Clinton's misbehavior is hearsay of dubious validity. No, I'm not a Clinton fan but I believe in due process and basing opinions on facts. Nixon resigned to avoid impeachment and removal by the Senate. Bush's abuses of office are legion and the only thing that keeps the man in office is political loyalty ion the part of his GOP colleagues.

[Dalicious]

All well and good, but my favorite Nixon characterization was about Barbara Bush. "Now there's a woman who knows how to hate," he said admiringly.

[givemycountryback]

Who cares what Nixon said. I am more concerned about the retard in the white house. Actually, he is so dumb, he couldn't even come up with some of these. What an embarrassment him and Raegan have been. Gee, they are both repugs.