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Harpy: The Ann Coulter Quiz

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whitesq.jpg1. Before she referred to John Edwards as a "faggot," how did Ann Coulter describe Al Gore?

a) "A screaming - no, a shrieking queen."
b) "He couldn't be any gayer if his name was Anderson Cooper."
c) "Total fag."
d) "That fat fairy."

2. Which of these is NOT a book by Ann Coulter?

a) Godless: The Church of Liberalism
b) Treason: Liberal Treachery From the Cold War to the War on Terrorism
c) Slander: Liberal Lies About the American Right
d) Preposterous: The Bizarre Notion, Held Even By Certain People On the Left, That Ann Coulter Is Sexy

3. What did Ann Coulter tell the rightwing website FrontPageMag.com that she likes to read about?

a) Serial killers
b) Holocaust victims
c) S&M
d) Shrill harridans

4. What did Ann Coulter write about politically active 9/11 widows Kristen Breitweiser, Patty Casazza, Lorie Van Auken and Mindy Kleinberg?

a) "I've never seen people enjoying their husbands' deaths so much."
b) "How do we know their husbands weren't planning to divorce these harpies?"
c) "They'd better hurry up and appear in Playboy."
d) All of the above

5. What did Ann Coulter say was her "only regret with Timothy McVeigh"?

a) That "he was not tortured to death on live television"
b) That "he did not go to the New York Times building"
c) That "his mother was not killed before she could give birth to him"
d) That "he did not turn out to be a liberal"

6. What response to terrorism did Ann Coulter advocate after the 9/11 attacks?

a) "We should stop wasting time, and declare martial law."
b) "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity."
c) "We should round up all the dark-looking ones, rip those rags off their heads and deport them."
d) "We should squander the sympathy and good will of the world, go to war against a country that had nothing to do with the attacks and create millions more terrorists."

Answers: 1) c; 2) d; 3) a; 4) d; 5) b; 6) b

Paul Slansky's quizzes will be a regular feature on 23/6, the new satiric news site coming this spring.