Say What?: The Bush Speaks Quiz

How well were you paying attention to what President Bush said in Pennsylvania this week?

1) Complete George W. Bush's statement: "One way to love your neighbor is _____________"
a) the food bank.
b) to mow his lawn.
c) use the Heimlich maneuver if he or she is choking on something.

2) What did George W. Bush say his wife Laura "cares deeply about"?
a) Drunk driving, abortion and cigarettes in movies.
b) Global warming, Darfur and steroids.
c) Women in Afghanistan, literacy and malaria.

3) What did George W. Bush say shortly after vetoing the Children's Health Insurance bill?
a) "If they pass it again, I'll veto it again."
b) "I like the idea of helping those who are poor be able to get health coverage for their children."
c) "One of the hardest things about this job is pretending I give a damn about anyone."

4) What did George W. Bush say is "one of the jobs of the president"?
a) "To talk a lot about what the jobs of the president is."
b) "To squander every last drop of good will any other nation ever had for us."
c) "To hold people to account."

5) Fill in the pair of blanks in George W. Bush's quote: "My job is ___________. And as a result, _____________________"
a) to make decisions ... I call myself 'The Decider Guy.'
b) a decision-making job ... I make a lot of decisions.
c) best done by an intelligent, compassionate, humble man ... I absolutely SUCK at it.

ANSWERS: 1) a, 2) c, 3) b, 4) c, 5) b

"President Bush Visits Lancaster Chamber Of Commerce And Industry, Discusses S-CHIP"

Paul Slansky's quizzes will be a regular feature on 23/6, the new satiric news site coming soon to a computer screen near you.

Comments

[LarryRiedman]

But they"re all different kinds of liars. Take my quiz. Many of the descriptions fit many of the officials. However, pick the one answer that best fits the official --
1. Bush; 2. Cheney; 3. Rumsfeld; 4. Gonzalez; 5. Rice; 6. Snow; 7. Frist; 8. Boehner; 9. Hastert; 10. DeLay; 11. Rove
A. Professional liar; B. Scripted liar; C. Desperate liar; D. Slanderer; E. Self-deluding liar; F. Soviet-style "Big Lie" liar; G. Repetitive liar; H. Iterative liar; I. Hard-wired liar; J. Blasphemous liar; K. Lie-master.
(HINT: The Blasphemous Liar said he hoped his police mug shot photo would help people to find Christ.)
ANSWER KEY " 1-E; 2-I; 3-G; 4-F; 5-H; 6-A; 7-B; 8-D; 9-C; 10-J; 11-K

[Dansden]

It is POSSIBLE for George Bush to speak the TRUTH,
he just won't know when he did because it will be such a surprise to him.

George Bush is ONLY incoherent to the rest of the world,
he clearly misunderestimates the coherurrency when he spends it! Simple really!

To paraphrase Texas Governor Ann Richards when she summed up the BUSH Bubba-speak,
"Poor ole George, he was born with a silver' boot up his butt...and that makes it difficult to speak when 'you're talking out your ass'...

[Zhonni]

It is kind of funny how the media gives him a pass. There is a difference between a C student and a C student.

1) Their are smart C student who could be B and even A student only if they studied. They end up graduating with a 2.7 and above.

2) There are the ones that don't try and don't do their home works and end up graduating with a 2.1 or so. They get Ds in subjects like Math,English,Philosophy and the like. They then get an A or a B in theatre, Physical Ed to break even.


GPA FOR GRADUATING SHOULD BE AT LEAST 2.5!!!

You can go to college, not learn much, not study and still graduate with a 2.0.

I think Bush belongs to #2.

[Zhonni]

Now,Now, that makes me wonder what group I am in.lol

REWRITE,

1) There are smart C students who could be B or even A students only if they studied.

(homework)

I thought I got better, I need to re-read what I write to avoid embarrassment.

[afgail]

I wouldnt be surprised if Cheney and Co are slipping booze to him to pave the way for a secret Wilsonesque coup d'etat.

[PoliticalRockChick]

I can't listen to him when he makes a speech. I turn the channel. He confuses me so much that I can't understand him at all. It's like he's speaking another language.

[INQUIRER]

You're not confused. He really is that incoherent. You can only get confused if you believe anything he says. It's possible for him to speak the truth, but it's so unusual that you can bet that anything he gives emphasis to is a lie. The lies run the gamut from simple misstatement to the deliberately chosen opposite of whatever he's characterizing. Clear Skies Initiative. Healthy Forest Act. Operation Desert Freedom.

But I turn the channel, too. I can't stand to hear him lie anymore.

[notasonata]

GOD BLESS AMERIKA, land of the fee, home of the knave...

[glesslib]

George Bush is the main reason that the primary season has started earlier than ever before. 71% of the citizenry is counting the days until we are rid of this nightmare. Most just wish he was gone, gone, gone.

He's proof that there is no definitive answer to the question, "How dumb can you get?"

[TOOO]

I keep getting this sneaking suspicion that this is all a distraction - and a very successful one, at that.

While we're busy laughing at Bush's buffoonery... what's Cheney been up to? How many more have died in Iraq or because of inadequate health care? How many more rights have we lost?

The laugh's on us.

[MmeFlutterbye]

Well said.

[glesslib]

By George, I think you've hit on something.
I keep looking at Bush and despairing when I should really be trying to figure out who, if anyone, is running this show.

[DaisyZimmerly]

It seems like the creep is on TV every damn day.
I don't ever remember any previous President spending so much time propagandizing in front of the camera every single day.

When does the jerk ever actually do anything to improve things? He's more like a never ending PR man or a crooked used car salesman than an executive that actually manages anything.

He must not realize how much of a buffoon he appears to be or he wouldn't want so much camera time.
I grab the remote soon as I see him polluting my screen, and I would encourage everyone to do the same.

Remember, anything he says, the opposite is the truth.

[Backcaster]

As I recall this was a 76 minute speech made without a script. How did he get loose from his trainers? This is a dangerous situation he could pick up the "red phone" and.....I hope someone took it away from him, Oh God! Cheney.

[whatfreshhellisthis]

Mommadona's comments about Bush's behavior being that of a dry drunk are right on target, as any of us who have ever lived with an alcoholic know. However, I think that George occasionally falls off the wagon. For instance, at the conference last year where he yelled "Yo Blair," pawed Chancellor Merkel, and told Blair that "they gotta stop this shit." I think he was just flat-out drunk on that occasion, and several since then.

Krugman's observation that Bush is more eloquent when talking about punishing people is very interesting. I think we first saw it when, as Gov of TX, he displayed such glee about the execution of Karla Faye Tucker. Most officials, when in the position of deciding the future of a condemned person, treat it as a grave and solemn occasion. But not our boy George. He was a regular party animal, mimicking Tucker pleading for her life. I think he meets all the criteria to be identified as a sociopath.

[transendentilist]

Yeah, he's a real compassionate conservative. Didn't he say something about not taking a life to save a life?

Bush and cronies have the blood of scores of thousands on their hands.

[lunaoscura]

Let's hope Bush loved ad-libbing and hearing himself talk for 79 minutes. Let's hope he wants to do it every single time he has to make a speech.
It seems our only hope is for him destroy his party, because it's obvious the Majority Leaders aren't going to even try. Give Bush another mike!

[researcher]

I missed #4.

the problem is not george bush the problem is those that put this sociopath into office twice are still out there lurking around waiting to vote in the next election.

scary thought.

[CountdownToImpeachment]

Don't perpetuate the LIE that the bu$h/cheney USURPATION WAS EVER DUELY ELECTED!
They LOST 2000 & it took an ILLEGAL ACT by the stacked (so-called) "supreme" court to put the USURPATION in office.
The ceo's of diebold & es&s PROMISED the USURPATION the 2004 "elections" PLUS they ran VOTER FRAUD out of the DOJ.
http://groups.msn.com/impeachbushcheneyusurpation/voterfraudatthedoj.msnw
http://www.bradblog.com/?p=4594

[lisakaz]

Gawddawful. January 2009 cannot come soon enough, if it ever does...

[NoContest]

I wish you could stoke this up about 1000 degrees. Find something, finally, that would shame the smirking chimp into submission.

~!@

[transendentilist]

Bush is genuinely incapable of shame.

[lucycountessofbedford]

I wish I didn't do so well on these kinds of quizzes. If it wasn't true, it'd be funny.